Phone Fingers

These are Phone Fingers. They’re meant to be worn while using touchscreen products like the Apple iPhone or the Samsung Instinct. The basic idea is you buy a package of them – they look like little condoms, all rolled up – put them on your fingers and go about your business. This is apparently meant to protect your phone from smudges and yourself from STDs. Really. Because you don’t know where your iPhone has been.

They cost about $10 US for a 25-pack and come in several sizes. They’re probably available at a stupid store near you but I couldn’t be bothered to look that up. If you’re smart enough to find them, you’re too smart for Phone Fingers. Probably too smart for Weather Station 1, too.

Finger-covers have been around forever. They’re used by people who count money or handle paper products. The inserters here at the paper use them, as their job involves sliding thousands of newsprint flyers between sections of the paper. This makes sense.

But anyone who’s ever had a touchscreen – anyone who’s ever used an Apple clickwheel, for that matter – knows they just don’t work if something other than your bare finger is used. Try it right now. Wrap a tissue around a finger and try to call me on your iPhone (or similar-but-just-different-enough) product. I’ll wait.

Here’s a joke: Did you hear about the stupid cow
who drank a whole bottle of ink and mood indigo?

Okay, nobody called me, so clearly I am right and the Phone Fingers people are wrong.

I just know I’ll get a set for my birthday.