We Told You Not To Go Exploring, You Stupid Teenager

‘The Red House,’ from 1947, is a classic public-domain thriller, a favourite of ours that we drew from for this song from our three-bassist period. There’s now a restored and digitally coloured version of the movie, but it’s better in its original form. The grainy black-and-white atmosphere works so well you’ll swear by the end that you saw a strange red house in the forest.

See the movie here, after you watch this:

Oh No, Disco Zombies!

This song was originally inspired by the works of Edgar Allan Poe, but the video ignores that idea and gives you blood, guts and an old house in the woods. Also, it has a good beat and you can dance to it.

The Fire In Your Eyes Keeps Me Alive

This is an instrumental cover of one of the greatest rock singles of the ’80s. It was originally intended as the theme song for an updated version of the Big Bad Hair podcast but that ended up never happening, so we remixed it a bit and took out the terrible vocals.

Song by Astbury/Duffy. Original lyrics:

Oh, the heads that turn
Make my back burn
And those heads that turn
Make my back, make my back burn

The sparkle in your eyes
Keeps me alive
And the sparkle in your eyes
Keeps me alive, keeps me alive

The world
And the world turns around
The world and the world, yeah
The world drags me down

Oh, the heads that turn
Make my back burn
And those heads that turn
Make my back, make my back burn, yeah

Hey, yeah, hey, yeah
Yeah-yeah

The fire in your eyes keeps me alive
And the fire in your eyes keeps me alive
I’m sure in her you’ll find sanctuary
I’m sure in her you’ll find sanctuary

And the world, the world turns around
And the world and the world, the world drags me down
And the world and the world and the world, the world turns around
And the world and the world and the world and the world
And the world drags me down

Ah, hey yeah, hey yeah
And the world (hey yeah, hey), and the world turns around (hey yeah, hey)
And the world, and the world (hey yeah, hey)
Yeah, the world drags me down (hey yeah, hey)
And the world (hey yeah, hey)
Yeah, the world turns around (hey yeah, hey)
And the world, and the world (hey yeah, hey), the world drags me down (hey yeah, hey)

Yeah hey, hey yeah
Sanctuary
Sanctuary

Source: LyricFind

A Blues Song About Your In-Laws

OK, maybe not yours. But some of you will know what this is about.

Black October: The Sentinel

No, not the Michael Douglas Secret Service movie. This is an underrated, unknown ’70s gem that you really have to see if you like devil-oriented scarefests. While the star, Christina Raines, is pretty much a “who is that?” actress, this movie is just packed with famous faces. Some were already legends: Martin Balsam, Jose Ferrer, John Carradine, Ava Gardner and Arthur Kennedy. Others were just starting out, so watch for young Christopher Walken, Jeff Goldblum, Jerry Orbach, a super-sleazy Michael Sarandon and, in my favourite moment, a very, very young Nana Visitor and Tom Berenger as newlyweds. Wait, I’m changing my favourite moment to that part with the young lesbian nutcase Beverly D’Angelo. She gets naked.

• Plot: A model rents a new apartment in Brooklyn. Upstairs, there’s a blind priest who sits in the window all day and all night. The other neighbours are very, very strange, including the little old man with the cat, who is not what he seems at all. The priest is there for a reason: he’s guarding the gateway.

I love this movie, mostly because the book it’s based on is one of my favourite horror novels. Jeffrey Konvitz must have been more than pleased to see his story adapted so faithfully; I just wish The Guardian, his equally fantastic sequel novel (No, not the stupid Kevin Costner/Ashton Kutcher swimming movie), never made it to film. This stuff is as good as, or better than, The Exorcist and most other ’70s Satanica.

• Warning, though: The Sentinel uses people with actual physical deformities in one sequence, and this caused a stir of accusations of exploitation. If you’re sensitive that that kind of thing, you should probably watch some Twilight. Also, the poster is a spoiler.

Black October: Van Helsing

Have you ever wanted to punch a movie in the face?

I did once. I paid money to see Van Helsing in the cinema. With a few of my kids, I recall, because it was marketed as a Universal-style fun horror action flick.

The machine-gun crossbow was cool. Everything else made me wish iPhones had been invented so I could annoy the people behind me by browsing Reddit during the movie.

Between Hugh Jackman’s stupid accent and Kate Beckinsale’s stupider accent and the weird attempt to create a medieval Q, this effort at launching a new action franchise failed harder than your BlackBerry yesterday when you wanted to tell your boss you were running late, and don’t start the meeting until you arrive.

Of course, you all know how stupid I am. I bought this on DVD the other day for two bucks, hoping it would improve with age, then got home and discovered it’s on Netflix Canada. And then I watched it again, and I am as think as you stupid I am.

This is the movie that makes Hugh Jackman say “How about watching Kate and Leopold instead?” when friends come over.