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Best Band Photo Of All Time: Turds of Misery

June 18, 2010

Turds of Misery played only six shows during their short existence. Based in a small town on the outskirts of Winnipeg, Manitoba, the three-piece act quickly abandoned their first concept — an Alan Parsons Project cover band — to focus on original tunes. The band included (from left) bassist Dave, drummer/lead singer Gord, and guitarist Bagpipes McDonald. One of their songs, I Seen You At The Corner Store, received some airplay on the local AM station in 1980. After the band split up, Dave returned to his career as a high school geography teacher, while Gord went to prison for stealing golf balls from the forest. Bagpipes, meanwhile, became the lead guitarist in the current touring version of Foreigner.

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12 comments

  1. Ah, the classic rock line-up. Guitar, bass, and I need another brew, man, some of the room’s still in focus.


  2. To set the record straight…. These boys aren’t Canadians. They’re from the Davenport, Iowa area. That’s my dad in the middle with the beer. His name is Dave, not Gord. Wade is on the right, and Wade’s brother on the left. They did an excellent cover of “Wild Thing”.


    • You’re a filthy liar. Those guys look so Winnipeg, it hurts. And Dave, Gord, and Wade are three of the most Canadian names we got. (besides Wayne, Brett, and Scott)


      • Uh, no, she’s not lying. I went to school with Laurie.


  3. Great name for a band, are they all weather fans?

    Weather Station Reviews


  4. To re-set the record straight, these boys are NOT from Davenport, they’re from Alganac, MI. And that’s MY dad sitting in the middle with the bottle of what looks like beer but is actually dimetap cough syrup (dad thought it really helped put the “chunk” in his vocal chops). The glassy-eyed man on the left is none other than Pokey Pete Gareffa, the slowest bass player west of Downriver. The jovial fellow on the right is Sleepy Diaper McGonicle, the guitarist voted most likely to mess his pants by the Alganac Register Weekend Supplement. The Turds were an indelible part of my childhood, having been raised on their stinky sounds since I was old enough to cover my ears. They did a very passable version of “Brown-eyed Girl,” though they would substitute the word “girl” in the lyrics with the far more colorful “Turd.” Rock on, Dad, Pokey, Diapers. Rock on.


  5. Also, there is no record of the guitarist ever playing guitar with Foreigner.


  6. No, no, no. Let me set record straight, for reals. These boys are not from Davenport, nor are they from Algnac. They are from Red Deer, Canada. The one in the middle is my dad. His name is Toqueface Benalto, he is an amazing drummer, and lover of women. The bassist name is Cranemaster, and the guitarist Dirty Pete. These guys have filling Red Deer with musical bliss since about ’89.


  7. There really is some ambiguity surrounding this band. I will set the record straight.

    Although its true they did only play about 6 shows, the fellas were actually from Willacoochie, Georgia. They were formed in 1975 after two short lived local bands, Pigeons in Denim and Crotch Beard split up. The guys actually recorded only half a track. Following musical disputes and fallings out, the track ‘I Kiss My Sweetie With My Fist’ was never completed in its entirety.
    On the left is indeed Pete, who was often referred to as pokey Pete because of his habit of poking people mid conversation to stress a point.
    In the middle is actually Dirk Merryweather. After the band split he became a stunt man under the name Jon H. Epstein. He briefly became Chuck Norris’s stunt double in ‘The Delta Force’, until a glandular problem forced him to quit the business.
    The chap on the left went by a few alias, most notably Muggsy Sweetwater. Its said that his birth name was Clyde McTavish but this has never been confirmed. Muggsy, a prolific guitarist and pioneering shredder, disappeared shortly after the bands 6th and final show. He resurfaced some years later in the then USSR. It turned out that he defected to Russia making use of his extensive knowledge of rocket propulsion that he gained at MIT before he dropped out. He later attempted to re-disefect back to the USA after the cold war but disappeared while attempting to travel through Yemin.


  8. I really ought to put the record straight regarding ‘the turds’ they do actually originate from the UK,having only ended up in Newfoundland wnen my father Gord had to emigrate to follow his calling to become a line fisherman in the area. after serving a harsh musical apprentiship in the pubs & clubs of eastern england ( a particularly rumbustuous show in the mablethorpe cable knitters club ending when the security team – recruited from the local’ save our footpath society’ lost control of the crowd and a colostomy bag was later found to have leaked in the snooker lounge) precipitated their move across the water. Dave the bassist known as ‘limpy’ dave as he was born on a hill in the lowlands of east fife scotland, never adapted to life across the water, and later became a childrens entertainer and hypnotist, roles which he combined successfully until his arrest in Abu Dhabi in 2010 for his role in the ‘fixing of a result in the novices under 13 camel race in the flagship sultans buyers 6 furlong sprint. ‘sheephead ‘ McGonnigle (on the right) the most enigmatic and mysterious band member, followed his original intention to work in animal husbandry after his brief flirtation with musical fame with ‘the turds’. his father a prominent expert pioneered the humane painless system of shaving the arses of captive baboons in zoos wildlife parks and conservation areas around the world. Sheephead so named after a ground breaking permed hairstyle was unveiled at the auchtermuchty farmers market annual country dancing festival was a great exponent of ukelele blues music, he now combines this with his pioneering anthropology based strategic breeding & shaving programme in amongst other places : gibralta and the eastern cape of south africa. My father Gord was forced to give up playing following a fishing accident left him unable to use the middle finger of his right hand.he is now a catering consultant in pfaftown NC where he has achieved fame as the man who saved a town by phasing out the 4500 calory high cholestrol gravedigger bellybuster sub roll with a cinnamon & egg white easy spread pate in the construction site of a local kindergarten for impoverished offspring of the local greensboro marching band. the ladfs are hoping for a reunion arena tour if limpy can secure early release in 2017.
    happy to put the record straight.

    9


  9. I need to set the record straight here. These guys aren’t from Manitoba. These guys are from Wylie, Arizona. The guy in the middle is my uncle, Lon “the Lonz” Reuffer. And he’s not drinking a beer, he’s drinking a bottle of Chocolate Raspberry Boone’s Farm. To the left is his best man, Richard “James” Cadbury. Most of his friends called him Arnold. To the right is Dave S. Fien, who got drafted in 1969 to fight in Vietnam. He returned in 1974 (when this picture was taken), but went back, despite “effing hating the V.C…but not more than I hate oppressive free market capitalism.” The started a Kenny Loggins cover band, but, after only teenage boys showing up to their show, they started a Joan Baez cover band. After a few hours of being a Joan Baez cover band, they switched to being a Fairport Covention cover band, but immediately switched to being a Boozehound Rock N Roll band. They only wrote three songs, all about drinking and driving. This only increased the throngs of teenage boys attending their shows. At the last show, Uncle Lonz shouted at the crows “I HOPE YOU ALL GET VD”. Dave thought he said “VC” and started a 30 minute diatribe about Marxist economics and “the oppressor outside of all of your doorsteps: Ford”. Uncle Lonz is now a chaplain at state-run mental hospital. Arnold works at a Arby’s in New Buffalo, Michigan. Dave is still in Vietnam.

    Rock on Turds of Misery!


  10. does anyone know where i can hear this band



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