Today’s Moron is Charlotte F. of Stratford, Connecticut, who told a court she couldn’t work and couldn’t even leave the house because … she was no longer blonde.
Charlotte sued L’Oreal in 2005, claiming a bottle of brown dye was mistakenly packed in a box for blonde. When she applied it, it darkened her hair — permanently, she claims — causing her social life to collapse and landing her on anti-depressants because, uh, she couldn’t date or something, I don’t know. She went on to say her hair stayed brown years after the dye job, causing further distress, so much so that she couldn’t work and had to wear hats.
The judge told her to get lost. And rightly so. I have to wonder about people who file lawsuits like this. It makes no sense. So I have to ask:
- No matter how permanent the dye is, won’t your hair will grow back, and grow back in its natural colour?
- If she’s a natural blonde, why was she buying blonde hair dye?
- How shallow is her life that having brown hair would mean she can’t leave the house?
Ultimately, and sadly, the judge didn’t have to address the stupidity of this whole thing. He just stuck to the law and ruled that Charlotte did not and could not prove her case: that L’Oreal mis-packaged the dye. (The company denied it all along)
You know, I bought underwear with too high a polyester count in it a while ago, and I have had some itchy moments, and I once finally indulged and someone looked at me funny. You don’t see me suing Fruit of the Loom.
I feel kind of bad making fun of this woman like this. Wait, no I don’t. Anyone this shallow deserves a little mockery.