Grand Theft Buggy

September 15, 2011

Federal investigators have arrested eight suspected international smugglers in rural Pennsylvania, saying the group was operating a high-level vehicle parts ring from a series of barns in an isolated valley. Levi, Zachariah, Abram, Simon, Johan, Isaac, Aaron and Jayden, all members of the Zook family, are currently in custody as investigators determine the extent of their criminal operation.

“At this point, it seems to be a fairly sophisticated network of trafficking in black-market ball bearings and buggy wheels,” said Lionel DeTyme, deputy director of the U.S. Bureau of Unusual Low Level Smuggling/Hijacking/International Trafficking.

The suspects will appear in court next week.

When asked whether such items command a level of interest on a par with weapons, drugs and alcohol, DeTyme said there’s still a market for horse-drawn carriages in many third world countries.

“Really, it’s the bearings,” he explained. “There are a lot of people in those loser countries who have an interest in getting their hands on quality American balls.”


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: