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Snuffed Out: Extinguishing The Human Torch

January 26, 2011

Johnny Storm died today. The youngest member of The Fantastic Four was killed defending his teammate Ben Grimm (The Thing) and some really smart kids from parallel dimension invaders. As he lay dying, he murmured “… flame … on,” but didn’t.

Funeral arrangements are here. Expected to be among the mourners are Captain America, Superman, Batman, Green Arrow, Green Lantern (Hal Jordan), Aquaman, The Flash (Barry Allan), The Flash (Wally West), Superboy, Phoenix, Magneto, Professor X, Colossus, Firestorm and Bucky.

“It’s totally way too soon to talk about replacing Johnny on the team,” said Fantastic Four leader Mr. Fantastic. “But I don’t mind saying we have calls out to Nova, Spider-Man, Namor, Silver Surfer and Batroc the Leaper.”

Gwen Stacy issued a terse “no comment.”

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