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What Will Arnold Do Now?

January 2, 2011

Jerry Brown is governor of California again after 30 years; he’s the oldest governor California has ever had, even older than his father, who was also governor, and his uncle, who worked at a diner. Linda Ronstadt is wondering what might have been. And Arnold Schwarzenegger is out of a job.

What will the Republican action star, a Kennedy in-law and somewhat well-known bodybuilder, do now?

  1. Go back to making movies: Stallone did it, so Arnold can, too. Commando 2: Matrix Reloaded? 2wins? Alien vs. Predator vs. Arnie? There are plenty of options for one of the 20th century’s biggest stars. He could even move to TV, starring in a Red Heat TV series with Jim Belushi (“One’s in a rush! One’s Russian!). Hey, if Jerry Brown can make a comeback, so can Arnold.
  2. Stay in politics: A shot at congress or the senate isn’t out of the question, but it’s hard to picture the Terminator being part of a larger body. As you know, he can’t be president … but he can try. I can picture him just showing up and saying “Ah’m the prezeedent, go wan and leeve de whad houz key when you leave.”
  3. Focus on real estate: This is a little known fact, but Arnold made his fortune through California property investment, not his films. This means there are thousands of very scared l0w-income tenants who are very afraid to complain about the broken terlet.
  4. Political advisor: Arnold could just stand outside Jerry Brown’s house, flexing. Jerry would hear “I’ll be back” and rethink his Democrat approach.
  5. Become a full-time Kennedy: Arnold and Maria could park themselves at Kennebunkport, playing touch football, sailing and brushing their teeth.

Prediction: Terminator 5. You can bet on it. But this one will feature Arnold as the human soldier on whom the Terminator was based, being very gung-ho American rah-rah-rah. There may be dubbing. And then a run for the senate. Later, you will say “Whoah, how did he know?” And I will say “Dude, I’m a Kennedy.”

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