Five Things I Can Do With My Moustache

November 10, 2010
  1. Sell you a used car. “This 1993 Buick Regal was never driven in winter, and the tape deck still works.”
  2. Model for the Sears Catalogue. “This velour lounge suit is also available in maroon.”
  3. Pick up chicks. “Hey, how you doin’?”
  4. Run for public office in Northern Ontario. “If elected, I promise to ensure poutine is available in every school cafeteria.”
  5. Star in a certain kind of movie. “Yo, lady, I’m the plumber, and I hear you have some pipes need workin’ on.”

All kidding aside, I’m starting to look bad. Not only do I have this moustache, but my donations are sitting at a big fat zero. If you can help out with a buck or two, I would greatly appreciate it ā€” and so would the men who face difficult treatment for prostate cancer. Remember, the journey to healing begins with your donation. And also a finger up the butt. But we don’t talk about that.

Make your donation here.


One comment

  1. I’d talk about it. But then again I have a reputation to uphold.

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