It’s A Bird! It’s A Plane! It’s … Clint Eastwood

September 8, 2010

So, here’s Clint Eastwood, lounging around in the early ’70s. He gets a phone call from his agent: “Clint, baby, the Broccolis want you to take over for Connery as James Bond.”

Clint: “Don’t call me ‘Baby,’”

Agent: “Sure, okay, but —“

Clint: “And what the hell is a Broccoli?”

Agent: “They’re the producers of the Bond movies.”

Clint: “Bond’s a pansy. Connery wears a wig, for Christ’s sake. Pass.”

A few years go by …

Agent: “Clint, they want you for Superman.”

Clint: “Are you joking? Do I look like I want to wear tights and fly around?”

Agent: “But it’s big! It’s huge! Gene Hackman is in it!”

Clint: “Tell them to call Connery.”

This actually happened, as reported today by Movieline.com. I’m trying to picture a parallel world where Clint Eastwood played Bond in Live and Let Die, or Superman in the first movie. And I can’t do it. It’s just wrong. While Daniel Craig would later adopt a Dirty Harry style for his take on Bond, the time was not right in the early ’70s.

And as for Superman … actually, I’d like to see Clint take the part of Batman in a film version of The Dark Knight Returns. That’d be sweet.

Strangest of all: Clint tells Movieline he would have jumped, or, well, swam at the chance to play Prince Namor, the Sub-Mariner. “That’s the one I always liked. I had all of those comics when I was a kid,” he said.


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