My Stupid Nose

August 31, 2010

My nose is big, crooked, lumpy and itchy, and has given me no shortage of troubles over the course of my life. Some of those troubles stem from allergies; others happened after I used it to punch a couple of guys right in the fist.

Something weird happened today, though. After having half my face frozen for dental work yesterday, I woke up this morning to find the other half frozen, and a dull ache under my right eye. Google told me this might be parasthesis, nerve damage caused by the dentist’s needles, which were yesterday inserted repeatedly into the roof of my mouth. Parasthesis can last hours, days, weeks or forever.

In other words, I was facing a Stalloney future.

This bothered me all morning at work and seemed to be getting worse … until, in the middle of a phone call, I felt a “pop” under my eye, and my nose made a sound like a deflating bicycle tire as air rushed out of whatever pocket of nonsense it was trapped in. It felt like my head was leaking. The pressure was immediately dissipated, and within minutes, all the feeling was back in my face. It was just my stupid sinuses, again, playing tricks on me.

Sometimes I want to punch my sinuses in the nose, but that would be kind of stupid.


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