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New Kids On The Block: The Comeback

July 8, 2010

Their fans may have grown up, but the New Kids On The Block are still Hangin’ Tough.  From left, Joe, Donnie, Jon and new member Buster are hitting the road again, performing their hits and ducking thrown panties as they help revive the early 1990s.

“We had been doing different things,” says Donnie Wahlberg. “As you may know, I was an actor. But after a while people realized they had been mixing me up with my brother, and after The Happening, well, the work just wasn’t there anymore. So I returned to my first true love: Pizza Hut. They give me the weekends off to tour.”

With a new sound, a new look and a distinct lack of the one guy who looked kind of like an ape, the New Kids are coming soon to a shopping mall food court near you.

“We were really influenced by edgy new music like Nickelback,” says Jon Knight, the quiet one who never talks. “I would tell you more, but I’m the quiet one who never talks.”

Buster, the newest member of the band, wasn’t even born when the Kids had their heydey.

“I’m more into Cradle of Filth, Deicide, that sort of thing,” says Buster, who until recently was working as a bathhouse janitor, but has since quit to pursue his dream of making music full-time. “It’s my job to be the musical brains of the band, and also to spray off the whores after the show.”

The Spin Doctors have been booked as the opening act for the tour.

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One comment

  1. I can’t wait for the inevitable NKOTB/ToM tour.



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