Worst Music Video Ever of the Week: The Bad Touch

March 7, 2010

This is one of those songs you hear at a club, or a party, and a few days later you buy the CD, and you play it, and you ask yourself “Why did I think this would be good,” and you answer “Jack Daniels and Bud.” The video is even worse.

It sounds good on paper:

  • Director: “Let’s dress our faux rap-rockers up in monkey suits and have them jump around, stalk and hunt some women, then hump each other while badly lip-synching.”
  • Producer: “Awesome! Let’s throw in some gay-bashing and a dwarf, too!”
  • Director: “Way! And let’s shoot in Paris, you know, cuz it’s all classy there and stuff.”

Wait, no, that sounds bad already.

This song is a guilty pleasure of mine. I think some of the lyrics are pretty clever on the first listen (“Put your hand in my pants and I’ll bet you feel nuts.”) Hee hee. It brings out the inner 12-year-old in me, the same guy who thinks Kevin Smith is a genius. And the underlying music track is one of the best attempts to capture an 80s club groove I’ve ever heard.

Somehow, though, I managed to never see the video until right now, and I’m stunned by its idiocy. But that shouldn’t surprise me; these guys are pretty dumb, a fact made evident by another of their songs, The Ballad of Chasey Lain.

If you’ve never heard it, don’t. You’ll probably never speak to me again.

  • Update: The Bloodhound Gang gets an extra bonus point for having a member named Jared Hasselhoff.

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