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My Audition To Replace Simon Cowell, Part 2

February 17, 2010

I think I’ve come up with a good zinger here:

  • Me: “Instead of singing, you should use that mouth to eat the leftovers after you make me a turkey sandwich.”
  • Alleged Singer: “But I work HARD at my singing and everyone says I have a good voice!”
  • Me: “Mustard, no mayo. Get on it.”

When Simon leaves Idol, they’ll come looking for me. I can feel it. Now go make me a sandwich. I don’t do this to make you happy, you know.

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