Jesus Christ, Vampire Hunter

February 9, 2010

I have been gently accused of making this movie up. It’s real, haters. It’s real, and it’s Canadian.

The plot: Jesus returns to modern times and uses his ninja kung-fu skills to rid Ottawa of lesbian vampires. Chew on that.

The fact that this film exists has inspired me to mash up various genres, hammer out a script — really just some ideas written on the back of a pack of duMaurier lights — and make a movie with nothing more than a 3.2-megapixel Canon digital camera in video mode and some friends. And a keg. Ideas:

  • Redneck Zombies vs. Cannibal Golfer
  • Full Metal Jackson 5
  • Love in the Time of the Conqueror Worm
  • Muppet Bad Lieutenant
  • Santa Claus Conquers the Mounties

All I need are investors. Email me and I’ll tell you where to send the cheques. As an added bonus, I can probably get Nicolas Cage to star.



  1. My husband thought the existence of this film was so funny, he bought it for his office movie library.

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