Jesus Christ, Vampire HunterFebruary 9, 2010
I have been gently accused of making this movie up. It’s real, haters. It’s real, and it’s Canadian.
The plot: Jesus returns to modern times and uses his ninja kung-fu skills to rid Ottawa of lesbian vampires. Chew on that.
The fact that this film exists has inspired me to mash up various genres, hammer out a script — really just some ideas written on the back of a pack of duMaurier lights — and make a movie with nothing more than a 3.2-megapixel Canon digital camera in video mode and some friends. And a keg. Ideas:
- Redneck Zombies vs. Cannibal Golfer
- Full Metal Jackson 5
- Love in the Time of the Conqueror Worm
- Muppet Bad Lieutenant
- Santa Claus Conquers the Mounties
All I need are investors. Email me and I’ll tell you where to send the cheques. As an added bonus, I can probably get Nicolas Cage to star.