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Porcelain Telephone

October 29, 2009

I wrote this in February, 2007, on an old blog. And by “old blog,” I mean MySpace. I forgot I’d ever written this, and it was fun to read again:

This one is a little personal …

There’s a stomach bug going around the family, and tonight was my turn to get it. It hit while I was giving my three-year-old a bath. So I just leaned over and barfed into the toilet.
Tom saw this and was immediately intrigued. He had his own bout of bellyblasts earlier in the week, so he’s become quite interested in the protocols of pukeology.
“Daddy,” he said from the tub, “What are you doing?”
I couldn’t answer.
“Are you looking at my poop?” he asked.
Now, have you ever tried to hold back laughter while throwing up? Not easy.
“Are you barfing?” he continued in his deep little-old-man voice. “I barfeded and Mollie (the dog) ate it. It was yucky.”
Still trying not to laugh.
“I see salad,” he said, and he was right, because I could see it too.
I was finally able to sit back and look at him. “Daddy’s sick,” I said.
“Why?”
“It’s that stomach bug,” I said.
Tom held up the toy he had with him in the tub. “It’s not a stomach bug. It’s a lizard with a blue face.”
Man, my kids are fantastic.

Update: Three years later, my kids are still fantastic, Tom still fires off perfect one-liners all the time, and stomach bugs continue to make the rounds.

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