Archive for October 5th, 2009

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Black October 5: Child’s Play

October 5, 2009

While I own a copy of this, I haven’t watched it in years, perhaps since it came out. I used to have Bride of Chucky on DVD, and watched that a few times for its sheer ludicrousity, and also to indulge my Tilly fetish. But the original, which was a real buzz film in its day, has pretty much faded from my mental film vault.

So I’m sitting down to watch it again. I’m going to cheat a bit; killer doll Chucky will do his thing on a small screen while I paint the kitchen. This will mean I am not giving the movie the attention it deserves, and may miss out on nuance of plot and those little cinematographic tweaks that are the difference between good cinema and schlock horror. Wait, I forgot I was talking about Child’s Play, the story of a doll possessed by a serial killer.

  • Note: About an hour into the movie, I paused it while I waited for a coat of paint to dry. I thought there was a good joke there but there wasn’t, so I just went and read the paper.

Child’s Play is better than I expected. I had forgotten how funny Brad Dourif is, and I had forgotten about the giant-sized “Good Guy” the kid watches on TV; that’s one creepy creature. The kid is kind of creepy, too; it’s the kind of bad child-actor performance that takes me out of movies. Let me check this … okay, the actor who plays him is on IMDB, and it appears he’s been in more “Where Are They Now” shows than actual movies.

Yeah, I’m going to have to amend that last paragraph. It gets off to a good start, but the more this movie plays, the more I think the doll is the best actor in it.

Does it offer thrills, chills and bloodspills? Sure, but in that 80s cheese way. I get the impression the producers knew kids would see this film, so they toned a lot of it down, but then went back after initial testing and added a few more gory bits. The whole thing is disjointed and clumsily made, which is no surprise.

The only reason to watch this again is for nostalgic purposes, or if you’re a diehard Chucky fan. Or if you always kind of thought Dinah Manoff was the cuter sister. Which I kind of did. So there’s that.

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Ryan Reynolds and his Webophobia

October 5, 2009

Canadian actor Ryan Reynolds doesn’t like to Google himself. Here’s what he said about this recently: “One was ‘Make Ryan Reynolds Your Biatch’. I didn’t get into it too much because I know there are going to be PhotoShopped pictures of me with a ball gag and nipple clamps.”

PhotoShopped. Sure, Ryan. Those pictures were made with PhotoShop.

Ah, I’m just kidding. I actually like Ryan Reynolds a lot. Let me think of some positives:

  • He has played two comic-book characters already (Hannibal King and Deadpool), is set to play a third (Green Lantern) and would still play a fourth if possible (The Flash). Green Lantern is my favourite super-hero of all time, and I think Ryan can pull off Hal Jordan perfectly.
  • He’s got that smartass sense of humour I enjoy, but we don’t always get to see it. He reins it in when necessary, such as in a little movie called The Nines. I recommend that one. Even when he’s in stupid movies like The Proposal, he’s acceptable. I’ve yet to see a bad performance from him. I’ve yet to see a great performance, but nothing overly horrible.
  • He married Scarlett Johansson.
  • He was Macro on The Odyssey. Bet you didn’t know that. The Odyssey is a weird little slice of Canadian television; it was about a kid in a coma whose mind travelled through a bizarre parallel world occupied only by kids. If you follow that link, Ryan’s the guy in the military uniform.
  • He was in a really weird and cheesy TV series called Two Guys, a Girl and a Pizza Place, but he made it work and was pretty funny on a consistent basis. Later, it became Two Guys and a Girl, but strangely starred three guys and two girls. I stopped watching it when it became Two Guys, and starred only five women. That made no sense.
  • He was funny in the underrated shot-in-Canada movie Just Friends. He led a great cast that included Chris Marquette and Anna Faris; this movie never fails to make me laugh. And I don’t much like comedies. He and Faris were in Waiting together too; that’s a good little movie.
  • He married Scarlett Johansson. In Canada.

I know a lot of people find him smarmy and cocky and smug, and don’t like him because of that. I understand, and I sympathize. But please bear in mind that he’s probably still hurting a bit from the clamps.

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