I Wasn’t Expecting To Read About That at Wal-Mart

June 16, 2009

We just got back from a trip to Wal-Mart. As you know, I love Wal-Mart, and I have a special pair of ratty jogging pants I wear when I go. I like the people, the prices, and that promo section at the front, with the $5 coffee grounds, water pistols and cases of bottled water. It’s just past the massive cloud of cigarette smoke at the entrance. You know what I’m talking about.

So we were picking up a few things when something caught our eye and stopped us dead. In the middle of an aisle, in one of those featured promotional displays, was a new product: KY Intense Arousal Gel For Her. I am not making that up. “This can’t be what we think it is,” I said. Elizabeth picked up one of the boxes and started reading aloud the label’s description, which includes the word “clitoris”. A lady passing by gave us a dirty look.

Wal-Mart won’t carry CDs with rough language on them. In fact, the latest Green Day disc is the latest to be banned. So you can’t hear Billie Joe swear, but you can buy KY Intense Arousal Gel For Her? And it’s in the middle of the aisle? Beside the toy department? That doesn’t make sense.

It reminded me of the old Consumers Distributing catalogue stores. You’d go in, pick what you wanted from a catalogue, fill out a form, and someone brought it to you from the back. I always liked Consumers. But there was a snicker-generating item in their catalogue for years: a “personal massager” in a certain shape … we all knew what it was.

Wal-Mart isn’t hiding this, though. In fact, the product screams “sex!” I wanted to wait around to see if anyone would actually buy it — and the display had some empty slots, so it was clear someone brought KY Intense back to the trailer recently. But we had to go. A shame.

Anybody who’s tried this stuff is welcome to leave me a testimonial about it. Go nuts.



  1. I\’ve always gotten a kick out of mercantile hypocrisy. Pineville, Louisiana, where we lived for three years, is a dry town. You had to drive three whole miles to Alexandria to get beer, but cigarettes, porn, and firearms were readily available.

  2. I personally have not tried it and the wal-marts here do not put them up front or anywhere except in the pharmacy area. I do have a good friend that tried it. She said she could tell a marginal difference in her ummm climaxes. Still don’t think I want to try it.

  3. Typical Wal-Mart. Sh*t= bad, Clit= Good! (well, yeah, but still)

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