Archive for May 2nd, 2009


Today’s Moron: Florida

May 2, 2009

The government of Florida has decided to stop funding libraries. That’s it, that’s all. This means a lot of smaller libraries in smaller towns will have to close, and the ones that are left will have to struggle to survive. This PDF lays it all out for you.

I have a strong relationship with libraries. Always have. My first “job” was a volunteer position as a librarian’s helper in my little town, and I haven’t looked back. Every road I’ve taken, every town I’ve found, I’ve headed to the library. And I’ve watched them change, from dusty book barns to high-tech facilities with computers, DVDs and loudmouthed coffee shop proprietors.

Some libraries are good. Some are great. But they’re all essential. Every single one of them. The big marble-and-pillar jobbers in New York City, and the trailer behind town hall in Dustcluster, Idaho. It doesn’t matter. Libraries are as crucial a part of our communities as running water, electricity and greasy-spoon diners. They aren’t just a place to grab the latest Stephen King; they are the repositories of our knowledge, a place where every mind is equal.

Municipalities bear the largest burden of their funding, but upper levels of government have to pay their share, too. As they should. This is why the idea that a state government would just cut funding to libraries is like a kick in the bag. It makes no sense. In a time when more people need access to information, when people must find work and upgrade their skills without the means to pay, libraries — which belong to all of us — are crucial. Killing them is despicable.

Florida’s finances are in crises. Cuts have to be made. This is a song being played around the world, and I don’t argue that. But libraries, which nibble away at a tiny portion of public funds, offer a massive return. If such things could be measured fiscally. But they can’t. Those returns manifest years, generations later, when the elected officials making the decisions aren’t in play. And that’s sad.

Meanwhile, spending on art for public places in Florida has also been eliminated. From now on, just look at the palm trees.


Sarah Palin’s First 10 Tweets

May 2, 2009

As you may have heard, Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin now has a Twitter account. So Twitter is, of course, now over.

What did the former vice-presidential candidate say on her first Twitter day?

  1. “All right, let’s see if I can get this darned thing figured out. I’m supposed to mini-blog my thoughts to my constituents. What does mini-bl”
  2. “@Oprah It looks like you’ve got the hang of this thing, girlfriend. Is there a better way to make it work for me? I want to tell people abou”
  3. “@Oprah U There?”
  4. “There sure are a lot of other ladies on Twitter named Sarah Palin, and they all look just like me.”
  5. “@First_Dude Who are these women following you on Twitter?”
  6. “People of Alaska: Welcome to the 20th century! This is my Twitter page. Comments are welcome.”
  7. “How do you make the comments open on the page?”
  8. “@V_Putin Not here, silly. Send it to my Hotmail account.”
  9. “That pesky Obama has more followers than I do. We’ll see about that.”
  10. “@GlennbeckFox You are to talk about my Twitter page on your program. The usual rate applies. Bill my office.”

Drive-Thru at Warp 9.9

May 2, 2009

The next time you see me, I will have eaten 35 bacon double cheeseburgers, 16 pounds of fries and enough onion rings to reach from here to … uh, down the street. This is because Burger King, my favourite fast-food place, is about to launch its Star Trek tie-in toys.

I could go into detail, but did it so much better. As you know, I am a 35-year collector of Star Trek toys, and these look like fun — even if they’re a little dopey. The glasses, though, are gorgeous. And the little giant-headed Simon Pegg would look great on my dashboard. I like the idea of Simon Pegg watching me while I drive.

Meanwhile, I’ve seen the new Playmates toys at Wal-Mart — some of them, not the ships, though — and they look like crap. I’m disappointed. However, there’s always Diamond Select.

What’s that? Of course I want fries with that! Save your stupid salad for the adults.


Simply Syndicated Site Relaunches

May 2, 2009

The gorgeous new website that hosts the Simply Syndicated podcast network is up and running. And it looks incredible.

I like everything about it, from the colours to the typography to the way photos are cropped. It’s a work of art, designed by the mysterious Simon, also known as A Guy Called Si. Everything flows wonderfully. Even if I had never heard of Simply Syndicated, I would be drawn to this site based on esthetics alone.

My reasons for liking this new site are a bit selfish, too; it’s also the debut of Starbase 66 as a Simply Syndicated community podcast. Our show and another, Masters of None, are officially on the network. This expands our reach and audience to a new and global level.

Other new treats for fans include wallpapers for computers, iPhones and iPod Touch, as well as a Mac OSX widget.

I like this ship! It’s exciting!


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