Shirley Jones Goes Topless

April 29, 2009

So, it appears actress/singer Shirley Jones, the coolest TV mom of my childhood, will appear topless in an upcoming episode of the TV series The Cleaner. This has taken me by surprise, so I have some random thoughts:

  • I don’t even know what The Cleaner is. Isn’t that a crap Bernie Mac movie or something?
  • Shirley was David Cassidy’s stepmother. Her other son, Shaun Cassidy, was a “celebrity” of some sort when I was a kid, but I ignored that kind of thing. Now he makes TV shows and is no longer mistaken for Mark Hamill, or vice versa, no matter how hard Hamill tries.
  • David Cassidy is playing a free outdoor concert here this summer, and I’m actually looking forward to it. The kids’ll get a kick out of it, too. It’s bubblegum, but it’s fun.
  • The Partridge Family was one of the greatest television achievements of all time, even if it did result in Danny Bonaduce staying famous. And by “greatest,” I mean “epic fromage.” And by “famous,” I mean “WTF, Bonaduce?”
  • The original version of the theme song isn’t as well-known as the later one, but it’s kind of fun, too.
  • I liked the episode where Susan Dey’s braces started picking up radio transmissions. Years later, when I had braces, I hoped the same thing would happen to me, but the only thing I could pick up was no girls.
  • Oscar-winner Shirley Jones is 75. She once played Drew’s older girlfriend on The Drew Carey Show, bringing rare class to that program.
  • I just Googled The Cleaner on my other computer while I was writing that bit about the braces. It’s about a guy who helps people in extreme crisis, and stars Benjamin Bratt, whom I have always thought is a pretty cool cat.
  • Dave Madden, who played Ruben, is Canadian and really, really funny.
  • There was some kind of New Partridge Family reality show revival thing a couple of years ago, but I never saw it. All I know is that Matt King, from the GeeksOn Podcast, was in it. That’s a great podcast, and you should listen to it.
  • “Epic fromage” is not a bad thing, just in case you thought I was down on the Partridges.
  • I think Danny Bonaduce is kind of a weiner, but I would never say that to his face. He’s a scary weiner.

What was my point? Oh, yeah, Shirley’s doing a topless scene for cable. Hey, I like a world where a beautiful 75-year-old woman can take that acting plunge. Go for it, Shirley.

I know, I know, you thought I was going to make some kind of crack. But the truth is, Shirley Jones looks just like my mother, and always has. And delving into this any further is too weird, even for me.


  1. What, you didn’t deliver the goods! I followed the link to see Shirley topless! Oh the disappointment!

    Seriously though, I loved the Partridge Famiy as a kid. It was a lot of fun. On a side note, I was a kid Shaun Cassidy fan as a kid. Still have my Vinyl LP of him doing Da Doo Run Run!

  2. You lost me on “Epic Fromage”. I don’t speak french, but doesn’t that mean ‘large egg’?

    • i think egg in french ia oeuf?


  3. No, it means super-cheesy.


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