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Powdered Water

February 9, 2009

Now that I’ve been off the job for a few weeks, I’m starting to realize that there really aren’t many options out there for a 40-year-old journalist/watchmaker with a gimpy leg and a real problem counting past 27. So I’ve decided to go into business for myself.

Presenting: Weathereye’s Powdered Water.

Here’s how it works. You buy it in boxes of six, 12 or 24. They come in little packets, like Alka-Seltzer or condoms, so you can just carry a serving of powdered water around with you everywhere you go. When that thirst comes over you, you find a cup, glass or bottle, pour in the contents of the packet, add water and voila! You have a refreshing liquidy drink.

Water is very, very good for you. A Belgian paratrooper once told me you can do anything you want to your body — smoke, drink, eat fast food three times a day and never exercise — as long as you drink eight litres of water a day. This really surprised me, because I didn’t know Belgium had paratroopers. But I took his advice, and I chug water like mad. Picture Shane McGowan at Oktoberfest; that’s me with water.

But I hate carrying around those stupid plastic bottles. And now there’s talk that bisphenol A, the stuff they make the bottles out of, causes brain dmamige or sumfin. I gotted a steel bottel once but it maked the wawa taste metally. Time make drink wawa easy.

So me invent powderized wawa. Now all me needing is investors to give mony, please send now

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