Archive for February 9th, 2009

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Governor Val Kilmer

February 9, 2009
Bill Richardson thinks Val Kilmer would be a good governor. Im not sure which one of them this is.

Bill Richardson thinks Val Kilmer would be a good governor. I'm not sure which one of them this is.

Val Kilmer says he wants to run for governor of New Mexico. Bill Richardson has served two terms, so he can’t run again, so he turned to his logical successor, the second-worst Batman.

I guess I can see it. Val hasn’t done a decent movie in a few years (The Salton Sea and Kiss Kiss Bang Bang were the last time I saw him in anything I liked, and to be honest, he phoned it in for Kiss Kiss).

As you may know, I was given a massive stack of straight-to-DVD movies a few months back, and a lot of them have Val Kilmer in them. One of them is defective; all you get is the menu repeating over and over again. It’s probably better than the actual movie.

Anyway, he could probably use a new challenge, because being KITT in the new Knight Rider show just doesn’t fill the days.

Val, whose best roles, as far as I’m concerned, were Top Secret and Real Genius, says he wants to follow in Arnold’s footsteps and fight the Predator … no, sorry, he wants to be a state governor. “I’m looking for ways to be contributive,” he told the AP yesterday, apparently thinking that “contributive” is a real word. “And if that ends up being where I can make a substantial contribution, then I’ll run.”

I’m all for actors and other celebrities running for public office. The politicians have messed things up enough; how much worse can it get? Gopher was a congressman or something, and Ronald Reagan did okay, or didn’t, depending on who you ask. Right now, there’s a movement afoot in the US to get porn star Stormy into the senate, too.

In Canada, though, we don’t have as many celebrities, although I would love to see Michael Hogan (Colonel Tigh from BSG) as our prime minister. That would rock. Also, maybe Pat John (The Beachcombers‘ Jesse Jim) could be premier of B.C.

Or maybe Evangeline Lilly could become ambassador to the US once Lost wraps up. Maybe the White House would finally start listening to us. “We’ll do anything you ask. Anything.”

Politics as usual? I think not.

Politics as usual? I think not.

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Starbase 66 Pits Gene Against George

February 9, 2009

Well, not really. But we looked at the lives of George Lucas and Gene Roddenberry, their legacies and their legends, on the latest episode of the international Star Trek and science fiction podcast.

Now, here’s the secret behind this recording: We record Starbase 66 via Skype, as we’re thousands of miles apart. About 10 minutes into this episode, I could no longer hear Karen and Rick. Every couple of minutes, their audio feeds would catch up with mine, and I would hear this fast, mad rush of dialogue. From that, I had to try to figure out what they were saying and add something witty and informed. It didn’t work.

Yes, I could have told them I was having audio trouble and started from scratch. But they’re Americans and I was a little scared to.

Listen to it here.

Meanwhile, many of our friends are in full podcast mode. You can find the links to Kimchi Cinema, Here Goes Nothing, Apotheosis of a Bombast, The Devil and Miss Mindy, Masters of None, Preview Reviews and Nerd Hurdles down there to the right.

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Powdered Water

February 9, 2009

Now that I’ve been off the job for a few weeks, I’m starting to realize that there really aren’t many options out there for a 40-year-old journalist/watchmaker with a gimpy leg and a real problem counting past 27. So I’ve decided to go into business for myself.

Presenting: Weathereye’s Powdered Water.

Here’s how it works. You buy it in boxes of six, 12 or 24. They come in little packets, like Alka-Seltzer or condoms, so you can just carry a serving of powdered water around with you everywhere you go. When that thirst comes over you, you find a cup, glass or bottle, pour in the contents of the packet, add water and voila! You have a refreshing liquidy drink.

Water is very, very good for you. A Belgian paratrooper once told me you can do anything you want to your body — smoke, drink, eat fast food three times a day and never exercise — as long as you drink eight litres of water a day. This really surprised me, because I didn’t know Belgium had paratroopers. But I took his advice, and I chug water like mad. Picture Shane McGowan at Oktoberfest; that’s me with water.

But I hate carrying around those stupid plastic bottles. And now there’s talk that bisphenol A, the stuff they make the bottles out of, causes brain dmamige or sumfin. I gotted a steel bottel once but it maked the wawa taste metally. Time make drink wawa easy.

So me invent powderized wawa. Now all me needing is investors to give mony, please send now