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Star Trek Super Bowl

February 1, 2009

“Why are you talkin’ to me, man?” James T. Kirk says this in the new Star Trek Super Bowl spot, sounding more like Billy from Melrose Place than a space hero. I had the link to the video here for a couple of hours, but it’s gone now. Let me sum up:

  1. We hear that voiceover from the old trailer about Kirk not knowing his place in the world, as Chris Pine hikes through snow, like Clark Kent in Superman II.
  2. Kirk gets the shat kicked out of him in a couple of fast bar-fight scenes. His opponent appears to be a chunky Asian Starfleet cadet.
  3. Capt. Pike tells Kirk he’s worth more than that. Kirk says “Why are you talkin’ to me, man?” Ashton Kutcher jumps out, yells “Punk’d!”
  4. Spock materializes. We saw this before. Zachary Quinto still looks very Nimoyan in profile.
  5. A giant space laser drills into the bay off San Francisco. Starfleet cadets in red come rushing out of the academy. This shoot was leaked last year.
  6. “Leonard McCoy.” “Jim Kirk.” This is the same scene that will include Karl Urban’s “Space is disappointment and flatulence and death” or whatever.
  7. Lots of fast action scenes, some we’ve seen, some we haven’t, including a better look at the orbital skydive sequence (Kirk yells “Whooo-hooo!” like some futuristic Duke boy) and some more Orion boob-smooching.
  8. Other stuff we’ve seen before.

I’m wincing at this, but I suspect this trailer was designed to appeal to the people who would never watch Star Trek, like, I don’t know, football fans. It’s a market that considers a movie without a bar fight, boobs, war whoops and a guy whining “man!” just not worth seeing.

I’m sure it will be all over the net tomorrow. Watch for it and let me know what you think.

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4 comments

  1. Taken down already at Paramount’s request 😀


  2. Meh.


  3. “Space is disappointment and flatulence and death”

    Bumper sticker quote if I ever read one!


  4. I’m glad to see you’ve finally come over to the dark side. Let the hate flow through you. Yessss….



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