You may remember me. We first met when I was little, and didn’t behave very often, but you brought me some very cool G.I. Joe Adventure Team sets, and a red pedal-car. Later, we sort of fell out, though. There was that year I really wanted a three-speed bike and you brought me my very own file cabinet … but I’m not bitter.
Things changed later, of course, when I ended up dressing like you in a shopping mall, and the spirit of Christmas came along … that’s a whole other story.
Look, I’ve been good this year. I’ve been friendly, and caring, and kind. I have taught my children well and been polite to almost all of my coworkers. I have loved my lady and loved my two mamas. So I think, this year, I really deserve something cool.
So here’s what I want:
That’s the Moller Skycar. It’s one of the world’s great inventions, maybe, or possibly one of the world’s biggest scams. I first heard of it in Clive Cussler’s Atlantis Found, which has Dirk Pitt and Al Giordino zooming across the Andes in a Skycar, zipping around like a Federation shuttle, hovering, landing, that sort of thing. It uses four rotating jet engines for VTOL capability, seats two, or sometimes four, comes in red, and has satellite radio, maybe.
In real life, the Skycar, which has reportedly cost $200 million to develop, can hover about 15 feet off the ground … all while hanging from a crane “for insurance reasons.”
There have been lawsuits, SEC probes, complaints, you name it, about the Skycar, but inventer Paul Moller keeps soldiering forward, and I admire that. I like anyone who picks a vision and sticks with it for a long time — in this case, close to 40 years.
I would like a Skycar, Santa. So please, please, go ahead and buy one. Paul Moller could use the dough. I could use the transportation, because, as you know, I live at the top of a steep hill and it’s been a slippery drive lately. It would be so much easier to just land in the back 40. Plus, the kids would really like it. And if it really is a big pile of what-the-fuckness, then I can park it on my front lawn and sell tickets for kids to sit in it or something.
Come to think of it, Santa, you could use a Skycar, assuming that it flies. Put some bells on it, put the reindeer in the barn, and fly, fly fly.
See you Christmas Eve,
PS: Here’s a video of the thing. Note the crane on the right.