Today’s Moron: The Naked Wife Photos Fast-Food Lawsuit

November 23, 2008

Today’s moron is Phillip Sherman, who lives in Arkansas. He’s suing one of the most powerful corporations in the world over naked photos he took of his wife.

Phillip used his cellphone to photograph his wife in the buff. Hey, what works, works, and if that’s what the Shermans like to do, they’ll get no snark from me. I understand that a lot of people like to photograph their spouses in the buff, and that’s all well and good. The trick is in what they do with the pictures afterward.

Some people post them on a website, proud of their bodies. Others look at them in private, for their own titillation or to boost their self-esteem. Phillip Sherman, apparently, kept the photos on his phone, then lost the phone while eating at McDonald’s.

The photos hit the Internet. Of course they hit the Internet. A cellphone, left behind in a fast-food place staffed largely by teenagers? If, in some strange and unlikely series of circumstances, this happened to me, I can tell you that I would figure it out like this: 1:14:05 p.m. Notice cellphone missing … 1:14:08 p.m. Realize it’s at McDonald’s … 1:14:10 p.m. Google “naked wife.”

But Phillip Sherman apparently feels no shame, because what he’s done is sue a Fayetteville McDonald’s over the incident, claiming he called the place and employees said they’d hold onto his phone, but didn’t. Maybe that’s a valid point. Maybe he has a case. But he’s already lost, because he’s basically guaranteeing that rather than his wife being exposed via anonymous online naked photos, everyone on the planet will now hear about it and Google “naked wife + Phillip Sherman + McDonald’s.” In other words, anonymity is out the window.

He wants $3 million for his troubles, which also includes the cost of having to move to a new home. Because, I guess, he found a home in a neighbourhood without the Internet or newspapers or anything like that, where he and his wife can live in peace.

I’m not calling Phillip Sherman a moron for taking the photos. I’m not calling him a moron for losing his phone. I just think he’s a moron for suing over it, thereby guaranteeing that no matter what he gains from this, everyone in the world knows his name, and knows why.

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  1. Well, in the interest of fair and balanced journalism…ahem…I just tried Googling ‘naked+wife’. Let’s just say what comes up could best be described as the good,the bad, and the frighteningly ugly. However I was unable to find the pics in question which makes me wonder if this isn’t some sort of attempt to scam Mickey D’s. The sheer volume of naked wife pics makes stumbling across them by accident seem rather remote.

  2. Moron is to high on the cognitive think/reason scale. Idiot(s) is more in tune with these people.

  3. I like to think he’s in cahoots with one of the staff at the McDonalds. I like to think he’s being played by William H. Macy, the wife is played by Kathy Bates and the kid from McDonalds is played by Jared Leto. I like to think Wes Anderson is directing this movie.

  4. What an idiot.

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