A Plea For Purging: Malevolence

Hey, I’m swamped at work and busy at home, so I don’t have time to entertain you. I’ll let these guys do it.

This is A Plea For Purging. The song is called Malevolence. And it’s only the best rock video I’ve seen since Peter Gabriel’s Sledgehammer. I’m not alone in that opinion; the video is spreading virally and is rocketing these schmoes into the public eye. More people are watching this today than that video of George Bush wiping his hand on Bill Clinton (although I hear Hilary has that one set to repeat).

I especially like how the five guys don’t look like they would even hang out together, let alone perform in the same band. They look like they could be the drummers from five different local groups at a cut-rate battle of the bands down at the rink.

Go ahead and watch it again. You know you want to.

Worst Music Video Ever Of The Week: Chuggo

Your favourite crappy videos are back for a new year, folks, and we’re kicking it off tonight with this gem from a person called Chuggo. He probably tells people he’s a rapper. After seeing this, you will know better.

“I’m on my way to court in a suit and a tie!”

I like to think Chuggo works at Costco, and spends his time driving one of those mini-forklifts. While he’s doing that, he dreams up ideas for videos. “I needs me some chroma-key and some asses, yo. And one a dem giant floating iron skulls! Shiz.”

But in real life, Chuggo is a Canadian named Gary who is well aware of how ridiculous he is, and has taken advantage of that by turning his viral video loose on the universe and waiting for unsuspecting music writers to find it and tell other people …

Oh, wait.

Parenting Is A Skill

I like joking around with my kids, and I love to tease them. They’re getting older now, but for a while, my daughter thought I could fly, but only at night, when she was asleep. And my youngest son is just now figuring out that we’re not actually from outer space.

This old joke is also wearing thin:

• “Daddy, what’s for dinner?”
• “Mushroom soup and salad.”
• “Daddeeeeeeeee …”

The odd prank is fun, too, like short-sheeting a bed, or the time I covered tennis balls in icing and served them for dessert. See, I had real cupcakes waiting once the initial confusion turned to laughter. That was funny.

This is not funny:

In case you can’t tell, that’s the box for an XBox, and this kid is really excited. At first, he’s incredulous, and you can tell this is a kid who is not used to good things happening to him. The riotous laughter accompanying his crushed slump says it all about things in this house.

I hope someone figures out who he is and sets up a Buy The Sad Kid An XBox campaign. Then again, his parents would probably spend it on socks or something.

DJ Data

I needed this today. I really did. And so do you.

Worst Music Video Of All Time

I think you’ll agree. This video is like some strange dream involving Cher, Frasier Crane and Taylor Negron in drag. This is The Army of Lovers doing a song called My Army of Lovers.
That’s all I know about them. I could look them up but really, I’ve seen this video, so I’ve seen enough.

Sorry to do this to you. But I never pretended to be nice.