Jerome Marquis Blanchett is 19, and well on his way to criminal notoriety. You can tell, because he’s identified by all three names.
Police in Harrisburg, Pennsylvania, allege he tried his hand at armed robbery yesterday. And, in perfect Today’s Moron fashion, he botched it beautifully. I love it when these guys make my job easy.
First problem was his victim. He pointed (allegedly) a pistol at a guy coming out of a stall in the men’s room at a Holiday Inn. His mistake? The guy doing up his zip was a John Comparetto, a retired police chief.
Second problem was his location. Comparetto was on a bathroom break while taking part in a convention of police officers. There were 300 narcotics cops in the room. Their cars were parked outside. There were signs welcoming them all over the hotel. Do the math: 300 cops, 1 moron.
Third problem was his response. Jerome allegedly took off with Comparetto’s wallet and cellphone, told the ex-chief to drop his trousers to his ankles, then fled … to wait for a taxi to make his getaway. From 300 cops. Comparetto pulled his sidearm from an ankle holster, shouted a rallying cry, and he and his fellow officers went after Jerome, who was waiting for his cab.
Jerome ended up on the ground, crying at the sight of hundreds of pissed-off cops and a very irate, and armed, Comparetto. “He’s not very bright,” Comparetto told reporters afterward.
So Jerome was arrested, and made it to court yesterday At that point, it was revealed that he’s awaiting trial on four previous robbery charges. Think about that: He’s been nabbed for robbery four times recently, and he’s still at it.His new charges include reckless endangerment, assault, illegal possession of a firearm and a new one on me, making terroristic threats.
This is the part I like, though: as he was being led out of court in handcuffs, off to await trial in jail, a reporter asked him why he’d done it. And Jerome replied: “I’m smooth.”
He may be a moron, but I kind of like this guy. He has a certain stupid style. I predict we’ll see him here again.