I’ve just come back from Burger King. I decided to check out the new line of Star Trek toys they’re giving away with kids’ meals. So I went through the drive-thru, and ordered two kids’ meals, one with chicken tenders and one with a cheeseburger.
At the pickup window, the woman who took my payment asked if I wanted two of the same toys or two different. “Different,” I told her. She handed me Little Kirk and Little Uhura.
“Here’s the boy and the girl,” she said. “I don’t know their names because I don’t watch the show.” She said this with a vicious little sneer. I suddenly felt a little ashamed. Here I was, ordering junk food just to get my hands on cheapie toys, and she was looking down on me.
A moment later, a man appeared at the window and handed me the two bags of food. I drove home, sat down at the patio and opened the bags … and found, inside, a Little Scotty and a tricorder. I’d been double-freebied. It made the whole journey worthwhile.
So I have now, sitting in front of my monitor, Kirk, Scotty and Uhura. They’re mini-figurines, sort of like bobbleheads but without the bobbling. They are remarkable likenesses, far more so than the Playmates action figures. Scotty, in particular, looks just like Simon Pegg. And they talk. Scotty is the funniest; Kirk, for some reason, speaks in Shatner’s voice. The tricorder speaks in Chris Pine’s. I don’t get that.
The tricorder is a dumbed-down version, cute, but silly. And from the images I’ve seen of the ships, I can only say what? What are those? Full points for the figures, though.
I know I’ll go back for more. And I haven’t even started on the glasses yet. The kids’ meals? I ate ‘em. You don’t think I’d let my kids eat that stuff, do you?