Another day, another racist. This time it’s a cop, though, and that bothers me.
Let’s keep it short; I’ve had a long day. Brent Gobbell is a state trooper in Tennessee … wait, he was a state trooper in Tennessee. No, wait, he still is. He’s just not on the job right now, because he sent out a White Power email to almost 800 other Tennessee state employees who, like him, are paid from the public purse.
These folks found in their inboxes a stupid message from Brent that included nuggets like this:
“You rob us, carjack us, and shoot at us. But, when a white police officer shoots a black gang member … you call him a racist.”
When he was confronted by his commanders, Brent scrambled for an excuse, and fell back on a classic: It wasn’t meant for other people to see. Gobbell claimed he forwarded an email he received at work — containing moronic racist squealing — to himself at home so he could print it off. However, he accidentally sent it to everyone in his address book.
This is stupidity + racism + internet illiteracy + blatant ass-covering. I know this because of this sentence in the email:
“There is nothing improper about this e-mail. Let’s see which of you are proud enough to send it on … BE PROUD TO BE WHITE!”
Brent’s excuse doesn’t hold water; he wanted people to read these words. He wanted these words spread. Well, they did, but not the way he wanted, which likely involved bulk purchase of white sheets and tar.
Anyway, he’s been suspended. He should be fired. Sadly, though, his suspension is for just 15 days (unpaid) and he has to take diversity training.
This is too bad for the people of Tennessee. It’s clear Brent Gobbell can never “protect and serve” now when he’s made his attitudes so clear; I’d hate to be a minority who falls victim to crime and have that face turn up at my door.
As all you smart-type people know, the first rule of international diplomacy is this: Always have a tuxedo close at hand for last-minute gala receptions. I know this from watching spy movies.
The second rule is this: If you’re going to bad-mouth your boss on Facebook, don’t leave your account set to “Public.” I know this because it just happened.
Steven Rheault-Kihara is the guy who broke the second rule. The 46-year-old Canadian, who handles political and economic relations and public affairs at the Canadian Embassy in Bangkok, was just outed as a serial bad-mouther when, for some reason, his Facebook Wall stopped being For Your Eyes Only.
People around the world got a look inside Rheault-Kihara’s private life in a big way, reading as he lambasted the Thai government — not something you want to do when you’re a PR guy in their country — and described his need to party. This wasn’t confined to his friends. Everybody could read it. And when they did, they found things like this:
On his boss, Prime Minister Stephen Harper: “As much as I think he’s a terrible leader, I thought that Stephen Harper gave a good show last night.” (Harper had just performed on an Ottawa stage with Yo-Yo Ma.)
On Harper and his then-rival, the leader of the Liberal Party: “If you put a gun to my head and forced me to choose between (Stephen) Harper or (Stephane) Dion as PM, my answer is simple: Pull the trigger, please.” (Canada was facing the possibility of a snap election.)
On the media: “Quoting from an audit report is the laziest form of journalism, but then again, no-one ever accused Greg Weston of being a journalist.” (He’s wrong; everyone knows this crap I do is the laziest form of journalism. Sheesh.)
On sports: “I think the Leafs’ll take the Cup this year, and when they do, I’m getting a tattoo of their logo.” (This proves he’s delusional, or maybe I just made that one up. Yeah, I think I did.)
When are people going to learn how to control their online presence? They mouth off about their employer, they get fired. They post boobie photos, their moms see them. This kind of thing happens to people all the time, but rarely with this level of political WTFness. This is a guy criticizing his boss, but in this case, his boss is the most powerful person in the country. Not smart.
There has been no word from Harper’s people as to what he thinks of all this, but our PM does not suffer fools gladly; I suspect Rheault-Kihara might be looking for work tomorrow. Well, at least he has a tux.
Rheault-Kihara has yet to acknowledge what has happened, and I expect there will be something along the lines of “My Facebook represents my private life, not my public life, yada yada yada.” That doesn’t wash here. If you want privacy, if you want to be able to express your opinions about politics and politicians, fine. Don’t go into public service. And if you do, keep your trap shut. This is a lesson he has learned far too late.
In related news, I just sent my C.V. to the Canadian Embassy in Thailand.
I don’t know his name, so I will call him Twerp. Because he’s a twerp. He’s a runty little bantam rooster with a clear case of Small Man Syndrome, and he works at the Home Depot in my city.
Let’s start from the beginning. My mothers are redoing their home office, so they decided to buy a set of those large steel storage shelves to hold their file boxes, some books, their printer, etc. They’re going for a utilitarian look, and decided these shelves are the way to go. Whenever they need to buy something big and heavy, I am drafted, because a strong back is a terrible thing to waste.
So we went to Home Depot yesterday and bought the shelves. This is what they look like, taken from the Home Depot website. They come unassembled, in a big flat box. We bought it, I carried it into their house, and returned today to assemble it. Oh, also, I went back to Home Depot this morning to buy a bunch of other stuff for our kitchen renovation, too. So that’s two trips so far.
It didn’t take long to put the shelves together, but as I finished up I discovered that one of the steel crossbeams was too short. It was from the next size down in this shelving series, about three inches shy of what I needed. I remembered that the box had been partially open at one end, and realized that at some point, someone in the Home Depot organization had placed the wrong component in the box.
Back to Home Depot I went, with the offending steel beam and the receipt. First stop: the service counter. A very friendly young lady told me to take the piece back to the department and a staffer there would help me. This sounded like a fine idea.
Except there were no staffers in that department. None anywhere, that I could see. After a while, I found a guy in an orange apron. This would be Twerp. Here is our conversation:
“Hi, can you help me?”
“Nope, with someone.” He didn’t even look at me.
“Is there anyone else working in this section?”
“Mary and Amy.” And he walked away.
I looked for Mary and/or Amy, but saw nobody. So I waited. About 10 minutes went by before I gave up and went back to the service counter. I told the helpful woman there that I couldn’t find anyone to help me. She told me she couldn’t do anything about that. So I headed to the back of the store again. After a few more minutes, I saw a woman in an orange apron. Mary? Amy? I’m not sure. This is our conversation.
“Hi, do you work in this department?”
“I sure do!”
“Great. I bought these shelves yesterday and the wrong piece was included in the box. I want to swap it for the right one.”
“Sorry, I work in kitchens, not in flooring.” Flooring?
“But I just asked you …”
“I thought you meant my department.”
Anyway, she took me over to see a woman I hadn’t noticed before. She was sitting behind a counter in the flooring department, typing on a computer. Here is our conversation:
Woman 1: “Can you help this gentleman?”
Woman 2: “He has to wait.”
Me: “Is anyone else working here that can help me over in the shelving section? I just need someone for a moment.”
Woman 2: “Chris is working in that section but I haven’t seen him all day.”
Me: “Look, this is ridiculous. I’ve been here half an hour. Can someone just open this box for me so I can get out of here? I shouldn’t even be here. This is your store’s mistake, not mine.”
Woman 1: “I haven’t seen Chris either.”
Woman 2 then kept on typing and Woman 1 wandered away, leaving me to stand in the storage section, waiting for this mythical Chris. Another 15 minutes went by. I could see Woman 2. She was still playing on the computer. I could see Woman 1. She was helping someone in a department that was not the kitchen section. I started to get the impression that because I wasn’t spending, nobody wanted to help me.
After a while, I wandered out of my aisle and saw Twerp again. He was just standing there, looking up at something. “Hi,” I said. “Any chance –”
And this is where Home Depot lost me as a customer.
Twerp: “I’m with a customer! A customer!” He raised his voice and shouted at me. “I can’t help you if you keep taking off. I’ve helped three customers since I talked to you! You can’t just go walking around like that.”
Me: “I’ve been waiting in that section for close to an hour.”
Twerp: “You gotta wait where I can see you!”
Me: “So this is my fault?”
Twerp: “It is your fault! You have to stay where I tell you!”
I am not accustomed to being chastised by store clerks, and I think he could tell. His rodenty little face got red and he might have peed a little. Or maybe that’s wishful thinking.
At this point, Woman 2 looked up from her computer and realized something was wrong. She scurried over and asked me what I needed. I explained it to her (again). I showed her what I needed. She opened a box and looked for the right part. For some reason, Twerp decided now he was going to pitch in, and walked over. This is what I said (and I probably sounded pretty mad): ”Get lost, bud. I don’t need your help.” I know it sounds tame. But I was spitting fire and teeth when I said it. I get angry, really angry, about once every five years, and this was one of those times.
He backed away. Woman 2 looked at me, well aware that I was not happy. “That little bald bastard is the reason I will never shop in your store again,” I said. She just stared, and maybe drooled a little. I might be imagining that part.
Anyway, I had to stand in line again at the service counter, and the situation kept going south. I was helped by a different clerk (a blonde woman) than the first one, but as I was explaining yet again the first clerk spotted me, dashed over and barked “You didn’t take that out of a box, did you?”
“No,” I said. “One of your staff did.”
“You need to bring the whole box up here, and bring your original box, so we can …”
I cut her off. “I’ve had enough of this. I’ve spent almost an hour looking for anyone who will admit to working in this department. This whole stupid store is a comedy of errors. A guy back there insulted me. I’m fed up. This was your mistake. All I want is this damned piece of metal that I already paid for.”
The blonde clerk shrugged. “It’s all yours,” she said.
I left. And I won’t be back.
I’ve had bad service before. But never at this level, and never at Home Depot, which has taken a lot of my money over 10 years, three houses, two major renovations, a couple of decks and a lot of painting. Every single one of the people I dealt with today was stupid, uninformed, unmotivated, rude, stupid and lazy. That’s unacceptable to me.
And it occurred to me on the way home that the clerk who finally helped me, Woman 2, just took a piece out of another box. This is what caused this problem in the first place, I think. So this will happen to the next person who buys one of these shelving units. Unbelievable.
There’s a Rona just down the street. I’ll see you there.
P.S. When I got home, I discovered my fly was down. Great day, eh?
Keith Bardwell is a justice of the peace in Tangipahoa Parish, Louisiana. He is quite proud to tell the world that he won’t marry interracial couples.
Let’s look at that again. In the year 2009, a public official refuses to perform weddings because, in his own words, he is worried that the mixed-race children of these marriages might have a rough go of it.
Newsflash, Keith: I’m one of those children. And while I have had a few crap moments in my life because of it, for the most part, I get by just fine. And that’s my business, not yours. I spend most of my time in a pretty good mood, and the fact that I have a diverse ethnic background is a point of pride for me, not something I hide.
He claims he isn’t a racist, and backs it up with this nugget: “I have piles and piles of black friends. They come to my home, I marry them, they use my bathroom. I treat them just like everyone else.” Wow, he lets them use his bathroom? What a guy.
Keith, despite your denials, you’re a racist waste. It’s your job to serve the public. You are not a judge. You are a justice of the peace. Do your job and keep your 19th century attitudes to yourself. Let’s not forget: discrimination is illegal, and you are sworn to uphold the law.
UPDATE: November 3, 2009, is a great day for the state of Louisiana. After weeks of wrangling, after Gov. Bobby Jindal denounced Keith’s stupid move, after lawsuits were filed, Keith Bardwell has resigned. What will he do in retirement? I predict he’ll wind up on Fox News. If not, he’ll probably just sit on his front porch, throwing rocks at kittens. Read more here.
This has happened to me, and it’s happened to my children. It isn’t funny. It’s annoying and a nuisance, but it’s also dangerous. This is why Kerry Callard is in trouble with the police in Plymouth, Devon, England.
She’s the driver in the video you see here, the clip that shows Callard speeding up, swerving and deliberately driving through a deep puddle in order to spray schoolchildren with cold, dirty water. Throughout, a male voice — her boyfriend, Alec Goff, who shot the video — can be heard, offering play-by-play as Callard takes aim and splashes the kids. They howl with laughter through the whole thing.
She did an assoholic thing, and someone caught it on video, and that video was placed online. That’s three swings of the stupidity bat, and three strikes.
Police started looking into the video’s origins after people started calling to complain. To her credit, Callard, 29, turned herself in once the video went viral, knowing that she would be tracked down at some point. Good on her. Let’s hope she continues to do the right thing … oh, wait, she didn’t. She told reporters at at least one newspaper that the children hadasked to be splashed.
Let’s watch the video again. Listen closely to the children:
What’s that? You couldn’t hear the children? Of course you couldn’t. And neither could Kerry Callard. They didn’t ask her, or encourage her, or interact with her in any way. It’s clear from the video what really happened, and she should stop trying to justify it with the kind of dishonesty that qualifies her for a rare Double Moron ranking.
Police say Callard could face charges of reckless driving or even dangerous driving, as drivers can lose control in situations like this, causing vehicles to leave the roadway. When there are kids involved, that’s a horrifying thought.
Meet Dave. Dave used to be the man in charge at Louisville Male High School in Louisville, Kentucky. Dave is out of a job after his bosses learned he was a bit of a problem. How bad? Let’s see: there was the distinct smell of booze on his breath from time to time, and that raised some eyebrows. But hey, every school has a drunk teacher, right? I had a geography teacher for a couple of years in high school who missed every Monday first period, and would show up around lunch looking green and smelling like gin.
Dave’s big mistake wasn’t the drinking, though. It was the private porno party starring students. Some of his staffers reported that he got his sweaty hands on a copy of a school surveillance tape that had caught two students having sex in the cafeteria. He invited some teachers to his office, lowered the blinds, dimmed the lights, and projected the image on a big screen, making lewd comments throughout. Weather Station sources could neither confirm nor deny the presence of Miller High Life and Nacho Cheese Doritos.
The other teachers were outraged at the video, and at their boss’s behaviour, and stormed out, and one filed a complaint.
Wait, hold on. What’s a Male High School? Boys only? What kind of movie was this? I’ll Google it. Hmmm, it seems Dave is still listed as principal. That’s likely to change. It doesn’t say anything here about whether this is a co-ed school or not, but I guess it doesn’t matter. This isn’t about the school. It’s about the moron. Dave is a pig, and this is either child pornography or dangerously close to it. I’m stunned that no criminal charges were laid.
The part that irks me is the outcome. Dave was allowed to retire. He’ll get a pension, and benefits, and probably have his portrait hung in the hallway or something. I can’t stomach that kind of back-patting sendoff for pigs like this.
The school, though, is content to sweep the whole thing under the rug. Interim principal Ted Boehm told the local paper, the Courier-Journal, that the school had received no complaints and he didn’t think Pervy Drunken Dave’s reputation would suffer. Well, sure, Ted, but that’s because you’re hushing it up.
Dave’s reputation should suffer. Everyone should know what happened. Public shame is the only way to really punish these idiots who take pleasure from exploiting children. And I suspect Ted’s remark about “no complaints” is about to change.
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What’s the Forecast?
Weather Station 1 is a very, very serious online news delivery system dedicated to stories of the people and things that can ruin your day. You know what I'm talking about: Stupid Slow-Moving People Day at the grocery store, or lazy bureaucrats, or the idea that we need another 90210.
There will also be satire and parodies, some general geekery and a lot of mention of comic books, movies, podcasting, Star Trek, music you probably hate and also my kids, who are really great, and not at all stupid.
I'm always open to hearing from you. If you have an idiot you'd like highlighted here, speak up and we'll see what we can do.
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