Turds of Misery 1913

Long before the boys we love gathered in the basement to crank out Stones covers and drink Blue Ribbon, the original Turds were the talk of Black Lick, Pennsylvania, in the early years of the 20th century. The band included Buster, Lefty, Fingers, Jeremy and Little String. Jeremy, the grandfather of Bagpipes MacDonald, chose not to have a rock-cracking nickname because he knew his grandson would need it later. The original Turds later added Hoots, who blew into an old whiskey jug, and interpretive dancer Calvin Coolidge, who later went into politics. Years later, leftover souvenir Lefty masks would be sold in England and become a bit of a novelty.

Jude Law has been cast as Fingers in the movie.

My Daughter

My little girl is about to turn nine. Here’s a photo of her as a baby, eating a waffle.

Trinity: Why Semantics Matter

(With apologies to Christians and people without humour, or both)

I know what they were trying to say. They just didn’t say it.

Becky, Trudy and Dezzeray used to be in a Runaways cover band, until Gina quit, and without an actual musician, they had to find a new direction.

The Justice Society of America Goes Shopping

Tick-Tock wants to check out the iPad, but Al and Jay heard about a new Baconator at the Wendy’s down the road. This sparks an argument, until Ted shows up and drags them to a strip club. Charlie gets misplaced along the way after one of the girls swipes his goggles for her act. The night ends with Alan Scott bailing them out of jail just as Solomon Grundy is about to Have Atom.

The sad thing is, this is how they would probably really look. But that’s probably why I’ve always liked the original JSA so much: real guys. This is what Watchmen tried to get across.

I just don’t get the purses. Wait, I do; where else would the founding fathers of the DC universe keep their keys, wallets, glasses and puffers? It just makes sense.