I like it when people with odd names are identified with a middle initial. See, the whole idea of a middle initial is to help set you apart from other people with a similiar name; thus we see John A. MacDonald (first prime minister of Canada) and John D. MacDonald (king of the mystery writers), and we see George Bush, George W. Bush, and now George P. Bush. Pierce Bush doesn’t bother with a middle initial, because nobody else is named Pierce Bush, for good reason.
For a while, early in my reporting career, I used my middle initial in my name, until a very good editor told me “I don’t think people are going to mix you up with anyone else.” Which was true; I have an uncommon name. So I chuckle now when I see people who insert the middle initial when it isn’t necessary.
Of course, it’s possible there’s another Alonzo Rucker out there, which is why Alonzo C. Rucker is being tagged with his middle name. Anyone else named Alonzo Rucker would not want to be confused with this guy, let me tell you.
A few days ago, Rucker allegedly decided to rob a bar in Janesville, Wisconsin. Don’t worry, I don’t know where that is either. Rucker ran into the bar, a bandanna over his face, and told the people inside that he had a gun, and he was going to rob them.
Some problems, though:
- Rucker didn’t actually have a gun.
- The bar was very, very crowded.
- The crowd was made up of union members.
- The union was holding its annual statewide golf tournament and pub crawl, with members coming from all over the state.
- The union was the Wisconsin Professional Police Officers Association.
Yeah, it ended the way you think. Rucker was thrown to the ground, unmasked and arrested, and now he’s in jail. He has not been convicted of a crime and remains innocent until proven intelligent. Wait, not, this is less an incident of stupidity — although it is pretty stupid — than it is an incident of bad luck.
You can watch this video for the whole story …
I like the fact that the police chief’s last name is Kopp. I also like the reporter, who points out that the cops apprehended Rucker without ever putting down their beers. That’s funnier than anything else here.
Here’s an actual news story about all this. Ooh, this gets funnier: two of the arresting officers were named Porn and Peiper.
- “You’re under arrest. I’m Officer Porn.”
- “Whoah, I rented that once at XXX Video!”