Today’s Morons: Colin and Jane Moyle

Mrs. Moyle, the Naughty Schoolmarm

When I was a kid, it was a big deal to find out a teacher’s first name. Nowadays, children know more about the professionals who educate them. Sometimes, they know a lot more.

Today’s morons are a married pair of teachers from Wales who are no longer welcome in their respective classrooms. It seems the Moyles made an amateur porn video … and posted it on the Internet. A parent spotted it, reported them, and now they’re at home, perhaps naked. Meanwhile, the video is making the rounds of their town, watched by students, parents and pervy Welshmen alike.

Really, Moyles, how stupid are you? You clearly didn’t read my Tips On Avoiding Public Shame. Would it make your mother cry? Don’t post it online. Could it make  you look stupid? Don’t post it online. Could it ruin you? Don’t post it online. Are you a teacher? Behave. I know some teachers, and they won’t even sign up for Facebook — they know the dangers of putting too much information out there.

Here’s a true story: a friend of mine who teaches high school had just finished his workout in his home gym, and was making muscle-man poses for the mirror, dressed only in those little spandex bodybuilder shorts (and he was not a bodybuilder) with Creed blasting on his stereo. He caught a flash of movement and realized two girls from his school were at his door, selling chocolates, and had been watching him for a few minutes. They were laughing. The next day, he tried something like “Oh, you saw my brother working out,” but they weren’t going for it. That was years ago, and the story still makes the rounds as each new crop of ninth graders files into his classroom.

That’s minor league compared to what the Moyles were up to. And these are people in their 40s — they should have known better. All teachers should. We’re hearing more and more stories about teachers involving themselves with students, and it’s sad. Despite the hee-hee factor of female teachers seducing teenaged boys, it’s still child abuse. It’s wrong. And while I am okay with consenting adults wanting to make pornographic videos of themselves, and I’m okay with them wanting to post them on the Internet, I am not okay with it if they are in a position of trust and have responsibility for children.

Today’s Moron: Supplemental

I would also like to call attention to the parent who reported the Moyles. How did that conversation go?

• “I would like to register a complaint; I saw teachers in a dirty movie on the Internet.”
• “And what prompted you to visit that website, sir?”
• “Uhhhhh … research … for a book …”
• “Aren’t you a shoe salesman?”
• “Uhh …”

That guy will have to get used to quiet little snickers whenever he turns up for parent-teacher interviews, I think.