Today’s Moron: Billy Bob Thornton

In case you haven’t heard, Billy Bob played the part of a whining baby on a CBC radio program today. CBC is our public broadcaster, a wonderful radio and television network that has been a huge part of my life. And my current favourite show on the radio side is Q, hosted by Jian Ghomeshi. I met Ghomeshi many years ago when he was in the band Moxy Fruvous, and I continue to listen to him today, and I can tell you that he is a genuine, decent guy, a stereotypically “nice Canadian.”

Which makes Thornton’s behaviour in the studio all the more bizarre. Basically, he had decided before doing the interview that he was no longer an actor, just a musician, because, as you know, that’s worked out well for Joaquin Phoenix. He was there to talk about his band, the Boxmasters, and that’s all. So he was hostile, angry and belligerent with Ghomeshi, who didn’t deserve it, because Ghomeshi mentioned acting, so he ended up not talking about anything that made any sense.

• Watch the video here. Yes, it’s video of radio. Anything’s possible, eh?
• Ghomeshi tells his story here.

I’ve run into this kind of attitude while interviewing celebrities before. Basically, they want to talk about what’s important in their lives at that exact moment, and they get all huffy if you dare ask them something else. Billy Bob, for instance, said something like “You wouldn’t ask Tom Petty these questions.” Of course not. Tom Petty isn’t an actor (if you saw The Postman, you know this)

The interviewer is in charge; it’s the journalist’s job to report for the public, not to make the star happy. Remind me to tell you my Shatner story sometime for an example of that.

Anyway, we’ve always known Billy Bob is a bit of a nutter. There was that thing with the vial of blood, and that whole thing with the refusal to use old furniture or something. But it doesn’t matter if you’re an Oscar-winning superstar or the guy next door, if a journalist agrees to give you access to an audience, a touch of respect is expected. And deserved.

CBC programming is also available as podcasts here or via iTunes. I suggest you give Q a try. It’s a wonderful program.

One more thing: Billy Bob called Canada “mashed potatoes without the gravy” or something. Billy Bob — don’t dis my country. I might have to toss my copy of Bad Santa in protest. I sure as hell won’t be buying your music, anyway. Not when I have Moxy Fruvous around.

We Are Not Alone

So, we went to look at a house yesterday. We’ve been looking for a new house for a couple of years, as the kids are getting bigger and we’ll need more space. Of course, I’m not working, so the timing is off, which means we’re not really in the market right now. But we just like looking at houses. Architecture is a passion of mine, and the Mrs. is kind of nosy. So when we get a call from the realtor, we tend to head out just for something to do.

This isn't the house, but I'd love a creepy one like this.

Here’s how it usually goes: the property owners leave so we can tour uninterrupted. This works for me; I don’t want to see them, and they don’t want to see us.

We take a half-hour or so, tour the place, check the details (How old’s the roof? What kind of furnace is it?). I always feel a little awkward being in someone else’s space, but at the same time I’m fascinated with these glimpses inside other homes.

The house we looked at yesterday was nice. Pretty similar to what we’re in now, which is known as a Victory home here in Canada; 1.5 stories, centre-hall staircase, finished basement.

The one we saw had been expanded quite significantly, and had five bedrooms, two baths, a sunroom, big deck and, my favourite, a decrepit old garage in back. And it was close to the river. I like being close to water.

The listing indicated the basement was being used as a one-bedroom apartment, but could be easily converted back for single-family use. According to the listing, the lower level contained a bathroom, a large family room, a kitchen and a bedroom.

This is the part that I was most interested in — the basement would potentially become my office/studio/jam space, as well as the kids’ playroom, so it had to be just right.

One problem: the door was locked. Our realtor found a key upstairs, so we unlocked it and headed in. This opened the door to three very serious issues with the basement:

1. It had only one small window, and was very dark and gloomy, with trash and waste everywhere.
2. It reeked of damp, sweat, alcohol, cigarettes and farts.
3. There was a scary-looking crazy lady asleep in the bedroom.

Have you ever seen a middle-aged real estate agent make a mad dash for daylight? It was surreal. She later got a call from the homeowner’s realtor, apologizing and explaining that the tenant had been told to clear out, but hadn’t.

I was more concerned about the lady downstairs, asleep in the supper hour, living in those conditions. It was very Fritzly.

Sometimes, when you venture into other people’s space, you get more than you expected.