Archive for February 28th, 2009


Capt. Kirk Disassembled

February 28, 2009

So, we went to the public library’s warehouse book clearout this afternoon. Not a bad haul, either. Everything was a quarter, so we picked up 39 books … and one Star Trek jigsaw puzzle.

The books are a pretty diverse lot; my 10-year-old son grabbed a pile of books on space, war, early man and other things involving weaponry. My 7-year-old daughter managed to find every book on ponies and puppies, and my 5-year-old stuck to his plan going in: A Batman book. Which he found. Unfortunately, it’s the picture-book story of Batman Returns, which features Danny DeVito’s Penguin in his long underwear. This sparked a lot of 5-year-old potty talk around the coffee table afterward.

The puzzle was for me. Check it out. I remember this; I think I might have had it back when it came out, late 70s or so. Not that I was a big puzzle kid, despite many attempts to stimulate my mental growth via strategic educational gift-giving. I wanted the Micronauts, I got the Micronauts jigsaw puzzle.

Now, though, I think this might be fun for me and the kids to tinker with. It’s only 200 pieces, or so it says … on the side of the box, it says “Over 200 pieces,” which doesn’t inspire my confidence. And the odds are against all the pieces actually being there.

My one question, though, is this: what is this image showing? My daughter asked why there were cupcakes on Star Trek. Look, and you’ll see the cupcake, along with the weird neon cauliflower tree. And what happened to their insignia? And why is Captain Kirk so … dainty? Actually, he looks less like William Shatner and more like a young George W. Bush, which is kind of creepy.

I’ll let you know how this turns out. Meanwhile, here’s another pile of used books; if you live in the UK, you might want to check this out.


Today’s Moron: Mayor Dean Grose

February 28, 2009

Today’s moron is a small-time bigot who has fallen back on that tired old defence of racism: “I didn’t know it was racist.”

"How YOU doin'?"

Dean Grose, mayor of Los Alamitos, California, has resigned after admitting he forwarded a racist email about Barack Obama. The image reportedly showed watermelons planted on the White House lawn, along with a sign reading “No Easter Egg Hunt This Year.” Grose thought this was so funny he sent it along.

Now he says he didn’t know there was any racism-related link between watermelons and African-Americans. Seriously. He’s never heard that one before. I guess he wasn’t paying attention during Black History Month, which kind of just happened.

Wait, it gets better. Here’s his actual explanation: “There is no way that I meant anything racist in my email,” he said in a statement. “I was merely criticizing Obama’s fiscal plan, which is so horrendous that it’s almost as if it were written by watermelons.”

Yeah. That makes complete sense. When I hear about something I don’t like, I automatically assume it must have been … written by watermelons. And I’m not even mayor of my own house.

The only conclusion I can reach is that Grose’s statement must have been written by watermelons. Or maybe a banana. Or … wait, of course! It was written by a moron.

Meanwhile, Grose says he’ll stay on city council even after quitting as mayor Monday. Yay.


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