John McCain on SNL

Five things we now know about John McCain, after watching him open Saturday Night Live by pretending to be selling products on QVC, the shopping network:

1. He’s really, really funny
2. He can take a joke
3. His wife could replace Vanna White, and should
4. He has no illusions about what people say about him and his campaign, and thus was willing to stand beside Tina Fey on live TV and listen to her pretend to be a rogue Sarah Palin. Also, he gets how funny the word “maverick” is.
5. He knows it’s over. Because he wouldn’t have done this if he thought he still had a shot.

Where was the real Sarah Palin? On the phone with the president of France.

Nailin’ Palin … With a Prank Call, That Is

Two Quebec radio pranksters just released the details of a conversation they had with Sarah Palin, who thought she was on the phone with Nicholas Sarkozy, president of France. It’s the funniest thing you will find today. After she displays a complete lack of knowledge of Canada, the talk turns pornographic and she stays on the line …

Transcript here

‘Cheeseburger, Double, Hot’

Burger King has just announced that it will be the official fast-food tie-in for the new Star Trek movie. This means, come next spring, Star Trek kids’ meals, prizes, etc. will be available with Whoppers, Chicken Tenders, Bacon Double Cheeseburgers and fries.

This presents a problem for me, a three-pronged crisis:

1. I kind of like Star Trek.
2. I kind of like burgers. And you should know that ‘kind of’ means “extra-super really.”
3. Burger King is known for its high-quality giveaway toys. Remember their Lord of the Rings promo? I know I’m going to have to get me some of that Trek stuff.

So I can see this growing into a situation next year. And you know what? I don’t care. I’ll probably get even porkier if I go ahead with this, but given my earlier promise to go into training for the giant burger challenge, I guess it would be okay to Spurlock my way through the Burger King menu in order to assemble a collection of Trek memorabilia.

One good thing about this: My kids will be okay with it. “Hey, guys, listen up. I know I always tell you we can’t get fast food because it isn’t good for you, and I know I tell you we should stick with healthy stuff we make ourselves, but this week it’s the Enterprise that actually lights up, so put on your sneakers, we’s-a going to BK!”

All in all, a win-win situation for all the Weathereyes, it looks like. Spring can’t come fast enough.