Is That a Log on Mars?

New photos released by NASA appear to show a piece of wood lying on the Martian surface.

The images, taken by one of those robots roaming around the red planet, clearly show … something. It sure does look like a log. But a lot of people swore there was a face on Mars, too, until someone got a better look at it and turned out to be just rocks.

This really could be anything. I’d like to think it’s a petrified log, though, and that it’s evidence of ancient forests, and that Mars was once an inhabited planet. I’d like to think that because I’m a science fiction fan and a bit of a fantastist. But that’s by night. By day, I’m a journalist and rationalist, though, so the odds are this will be explained very soon, a photo from a different angle will be released, and we’ll see that it’s a trick of the light or something.

Meanwhile …

This has brought the crazies out in full force. Open a new tab right now, go to Google, and type in “wood found on mars,” like I did. This will open the floodgates of space lunacy, and you can dig right into tons of fantastic conspiracy theories. I like reading conspiracy theories. But I worry about the people who believe them.

I suspect it will not be long before someone claims this is Noah’s Ark. 

YouTube is Wider All Of A Sudden

I watch a lot of YouTube, and maybe so do you. As of this weekend, it’s … wider. Which makes no difference, because the clips are still the same size, so now we have big black bars on either side of the image. So it’s like letterboxing, only tipped on its side.

I would like to show you an example of the NewTube YouTube:

Hmm. It still feeds in the same way here at WordPress. So you should go over to YouTube after this and see for yourself. I think it has something to do with licensing actual movies and TV shows, which tend to be wider. I’m okay with it.

The only thing sadder than the fact that I’m taking the time to write about an extra couple of YouTube inches is the fact that I have seen every movie those two nerds just mentioned, most of them twice or more.

Today’s Moron: Me, Maybe

Today’s Moron might be me. Or it might not. You can decide.

A couple of nights ago, I was driving home from work after 3 a.m. It was one of the first really cold nights of this incipient winter, and there was a bit of snow swirling around.

I do this five times a week, and I’m used to pretty much having the roads to myself. I will once in a while see someone at the 24-hour gas station, and sometimes, in the summer, last-call barflies may stagger past on a sidewalk. But on a cold November night, nothing. Quiet and still.

But then something happened. A woman appeared at the side of the road, under a streetlight, beside one of those Fast and Furious Honda Civics. She was wearing a short skirt and thin white top, and she was signalling for me to stop. I started to slow down, but as I did, I noticed there were two or three shapes in the Civic, what looked to me like young men with sideways baseball caps, that sort of look.

I kept driving.

And I’ve been wondering about that decision ever since. Was my instinct right? Was this some late-night roadside bonk-and-rob scam? Or was this a bunch of kids in trouble, looking for help? I justify it by reminding myself that people have cellphones these days, and the spot where this woman was calling for help was about five minutes’ walk from a few 24-hour convenience stores. And she clearly wasn’t in danger from her companions, who were sitting in the car while she tried to flag me down. Meanwhile, random street crime is on the rise here. So, despite a few twinges of “what if” moments, I’ve been okay with my decision.

Especially after reading this.

Still, I wonder, so I guess I need some feedback. What do you think? Should I have stopped?

RIP Michael Lee

Wolfe, Astbury, Lee, Duffy. I had this poster for years, along with many others.

Michael Lee died this week. He was 39.

I first heard of him when he drummed for The Cult in 1991-92 on the Ceremony tour. While he didn’t record with the band (Mickey Curry handled drums for the Ceremony album), Michael and bassist Kinley Wolfe joined singer Ian Astbury and guitarist Billy Duffy for the ensuing tour. Their performance was captured for the Live at the Marquee CD set, which came as a giveaway with the Pure Cult VHS video; you can also see them in the Wild Hearted Son video (although they’re really just miming to Curry and Charley Drayton’s studio work).

The Cult being The Cult, he didn’t stay long, but did have his name added to the Spinal Tapness that is The Cult’s drum roster. But he did okay. He then joined Robert Plant’s band for the Fate of Nations album (you see him in the Calling To You video), and stayed on for some of that Page and Plant stuff in the mid-90s.

He was a solid, non-flashy drummer with huge power. What little I heard, I really, really liked; as a drummer, I have a lot of respect for players who know how to stay at the back of the stage and the back of the song. Lee did that, and did it well.

The sad thing is his age. He was younger than I am. I guess that’s a sign of getting older. But two rock heroes of my youth have died this week, and that makes me stop and contemplate for a moment.

Here’s to you, Michael Lee. Thanks for rocking.

Confessions of a Shopping Mall Santa, Part 3

One of the most interesting things about being a mall Santa is the permanence of it. I took off the costume every night, unstrapped the two fake bellies and carefully peeled the beard from my face. But I had spent that day, and the other 50 or so that I was Santa Claus, being photographed, and those photos are still out there.

As you may recall, I took the job as Santa after being laid off from the newspaper where I worked as a reporter. I was recalled the following spring, so the Santa weeks were really just a hiccup in what has otherwise been a long career in journalism.

A couple of holiday seasons after all of this happened, I was sent to someone’s house to interview their daughter, who, if I recall correctly, had earned some kind of amazing scholarship. As I was interviewing the girl and her parents, I noticed a photo on the mantle, smiled, and pointed at it.

“You know,” I said, “that’s me in that photo.”

The dad took it down, squinted at it, squinted at me, back at the photo, back at me, and said “I’ll be damned.”

It was a picture, I should mention, of me and their dog. This mall had a Pets-With-Santa day, where people could bring their animals in. I am very allergic to animals with fur, and not crazy about other kinds, so you can imagine the sneezy, nose-runny day I had, which got worse when someone draped a boa over my shoulders for a photo. But the spirit of Christmas was strong in this one, and I soldiered on.

I guess those photos of me are floating around to this day. There must be hundreds. But one of them, in particular, would pop up in my life again in a far more interesting way.

What happened was I got married. The following Christmas, my new wife and I were unpacking our combined Christmas decorations, and she took out a framed picture of her two daughters with Santa. And, of course, it was me. She didn’t believe me at first, and it took some convincing, but in the end, she got it. So that nifty photo was part of our annual Christmas display during that brief marriage, and maybe it’s still out there. I don’t know.

Ho ho ho.

Part 1, Part 2

Ha Ha, Sarah Palin, from Stephane Dion

From The Office of the Leader of the Liberal Party of Canada
To The Office of the Governor of Alaska

Friday, November 28, 2008

Dear Governor Palin,

As you can have heard, our governing party, the Conservative, risk falling just six weeks being elected in a Parliament of minority. If it arrives, it will be because of an alliance between my Liberal and the New Democrats. And if it arrives, I shall be the prime minister.

We should just forget that I lost badly in the course of this election and we should forget that I have already resigned and am because of this a lame duck as the leader Liberal. That is forgotten. If I pulling this off I will be prime minister and running the show.

This is a lesson for you: there is second chances in politics. For me, not for you. I bouncing back, you slinking away. Ha ha on you.

If I am winning this risk of move and being prime minister, please remember to be calling me whenever and if you are coming into Canada from Alaska to travel, because you needing my permission now. You should have been being nicer to me before when I write to you.

Regards

Stephane

P.S. I am send earlier message again as I know you are forgetting lots of things. Here, here, here and here.