I am no fashion-type guy. I like jeans and boots, cargo pants and T-shirts. I shop at Value Village a lot and I tend to look like an extra on Lost.
So I don’t pay a lot of attention to what’s trendy or new or the latest hot look, not for men and not for women. The only time I read anything about the fashion world is when Mr. Blackwell puts out his annual Worst Dressed list. Not because of the fashion, but because of the stupidity. I like seeing people make really strange wardrobe choices, like the guy I work with who wears those sneakers with the twin velcro straps instead of laces. “They make those in adult sizes?” I asked.
Mr. Blackwell died on the weekend, which means, I’m sure, a couple of Spice Girls, at least one Hilton and a Kardashian are breathing sighs of relief, knowing they can go out on the town again while wearing ripped garbage bags tied together with gold rope and topped off with clear-heeled shoes.
In tribute to Mr. Blackwell, I offer up this list of some of his best zingers, as compiled by The Associated Press:
- Cameron Diaz: “Looks like she was dressed by a colorblind circus clown, and when it comes to fashion, it’s chaos when Cameron’s back in town.”
- Courtney Love: “When push comes to shove, no one’s fashion is tackier and wackier than funky, punky Love!”
Victoria “Posh Spice” Beckham: “Forget the fashion spice – wearing a skirt would suffice! In one skinny-mini monstrosity after another, pouty Posh can really wreck-em.”- Mary Kate Olsen: “She resembles a tattered toothpick trapped in a hurricane.”
- The Dixie Chicks: “They look like a trio of truck-stop fashion tragedies trapped in a typhoon.”
- Rene Zellweger: “A painted pumpkin on a pogo stick.”
- Ann-Margret: “Marlon Brando in a g-string.”
- Bjork: “She dances in the dark — and dresses there, too.”
- Martha Stewart: “She dresses like the centerfold for the Farmer’s Almanac.”
- Sharon Stone: “She looks like an over-the-hill Cruella de Ville.”
- Elizabeth Taylor: “Looks like two small boys fighting under a mink blanket.
- Cher: “A million beads and one overexposed derriere.”
- Sarah Jessica Parker: “From ‘Sex and the City’ Sarah’s fashions are a mix-and-match pity.”
- Mariah Carey: “Shrink-wrapped cheesecake.
- Madonna: “From Ghetto Glam to Rhinestone Cowgirl to Mrs. Guy Ritchie. Any way you label it, she’s still just kitschy, kitschy, kitschy.”
- Christina Aguilera: “Is she a boring and body-baring bungle — or just auditioning for ‘Sheena, Queen of the Jungle?”’
Amy Winehouse: “Exploding beehives above, tacky polka-dots below, she’s part 50’s carhop horror.”- Queen Elizabeth II: “Was she the palace Christmas tree or just a royal clown?
- Camilla Parker-Bowles: “In feathered hats that were once the rage, she resembles a petrified parakeet from the Jurassic age.”
- Dennis Rodman (for his drag outfits): “The Fashion Menace may be the Bad Boy of basketball — but in fishnet and feathers he’s a unisex wreck.”
Thanks for the laughs, Mr. Blackwell. You had a good run, and I hope you’re okay with the uniform robes-harps-and-wings look you’re seeing around you today.
