Today’s Moron is the so-far-unnamed Hollywood executive who is considering a sequel to next year’s Watchmen movie.
On the surface you can sort of understand the thinking there. Superhero movies usually have sequels. The current big franchises – Spider-Man, X-Men, Batman chief among them – are knee-deep in followups (exhibiting varying degrees of suck). More Iron Man, Punisher, Hulk and Superman are on the way. There’s even talk of a new Daredevil film, Affleckless this time.
But that thinking doesn’t apply to the Watchmen.
Some of you know why. For those who don’t, let me sum it up quickly: It’s a standalone story, featuring characters who never appeared anywhere else, and it’s the finest superhero story ever told. And it ended. It had an ending. There is no more.
So yeah, it scares me a bit to hear there’s sequel talk. Actor Patrick Wilson, who plays Nite Owl, mentioned sequels the other day while doing press for his new movie, Lakeview Terrace. And Rich Johnston at Lying in the Gutters says the cast all signed sequel deals, which is pretty standard, but doesn’t necessarily mean a sequel will be made.
But if there is a sequel, what would it be?
- New stories of the 1940s Minutemen?
- A Dr. Manhattan/Comedian Vietnam war thriller?
- Rorschach in space?
- A comedy about Capt. Metropolis on a cruise ship?
- An animated spoof of Star Wars using the characters … no, I can’t even joke about this. It’s too stupid.
This is what Patrick Wilson said: “It’s all been talked about. Financially, they like to do that. But all of us, (director) Zack Snyder included, all go, ‘How on Earth could you do a sequel or prequel?’ Certainly, artistically, I can’t fathom how it would happen… But hey, if Alan Moore writes it, I’d love to read it.”
Writing a sequel? Alan Moore’s beard just burst into flames, people.
On a positive note, Lying in the Gutters is reporting today that the lawsuit blocking the release of Watchmen can easily be settled: Fox wants Warner to sign over the image and character rights for the 1960s Batman TV series so it can be released on DVD.
So there’s a way for everyone to win.