Okay, Sarah Palin has officially arrived. She has an action figure.
Herobuilders.com has added the would-be VP to their list of current figures (which also features a bulgy buff Beach Blanket Obama)
For some reason, though, they dressed her an outfit strangely reminiscent of Britney Spears’ Hit Me Baby One More Time video. Not the first thing I think of when I picture the governor of Alaska. Not the second, either. To be fair, though, they also offer a Palin in business attire. But also one in black leather, with a gun. That’s more like how I picture Sarah in her off hours.
Being immortalized as an action figure is the true sign that you’ve arrived. Think about it: the original ’70s Han Solo Star Wars figure looked just like a little Harrison Ford. Harrison Ford, subsequently, has done well for himself in his career. The little Luke Skywalker, though, bore little resemblance to Mark Hamill, and his career has been less than stellar.
Whether Sarah Palin’s action figure proves to be the factor that helps put her and McCain into the White House remains to be seen and is, actually, a really stupid train of thought. But it’s fair to say being immortalized in plastic, with kung-fu grip and accessories, is a sign that someone out there thinks you’re important.
People who have been made into action figures:
- David Hasselhoff
- The Fonz
- Orlando Bloom
- Wayne Gretzky
- Hurley from Lost
People who have never been made into action figures:
- Mr. Chase, my sixth-grade teacher
- The inventor of the television
- Jason Biggs
- That bitchy teller at my bank who always talks about American Idol
- The guy who played Andy Travis on WKRP
I believe I have made my case.
All it takes is a tiny plastic duplicate to ensure fame. Take me, for instance. That’s me down there to the right, in Adventure Team Action Hiker gear, complete with water bottle and backpack. That’s right; I am immortal in plastic. And, as you know, I am super-famous.
No matter what else I achieve, I at least have this.